A Risk Worth Taking
by bosswoman88
Summary: a few chapters in Rayna's journey to decide which of those rings is worth the risk.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my second FF. It doesn't "exactly" leave off where the last one did, because we all know what happened in the finale and I find it hard to "undo" what already happened, so we will just take it from there and hope some good FF helps us survive the unbearable hiatus **

It was back in its hiding spot. In a tiny powder blue box, tucked into the depths of a seldom-used drawer in her walk-in closet, covered by the scarves and winter hats. Every night for the last month before she went to sleep, she took it out and held it in the palm of her hand, just like she was doing now. Sometimes she took the two rings off and set them next to each other. Sometimes- almost daring herself- she would slip off Luke's ring, put it down on the vanity, and put on Deacon's ring "just to see if it still fit". She did this now.

_Yup, _Rayna told herself with a sigh. _It still fits_. Slowly, painfully, she took a ragged breath and slid it back off her finger.

Up until last year, that ring had been hidden there in that dark little corner for a good long time. She didn't even know why she'd kept it, all those years she was married to Teddy. And then after that accident, she had given it back to Deacon. And the little blue box was empty again.

But now, there were two rings.

Funny when you looked at those small shining circles right next to each other. One was flashy, expensive, a statement to show the world. It was an attention-getter, alright. The other one might not have been flashy or expensive, but it was solid silver, and it would be around for a long, long time. It HAD been around for a long, long time.

Kind of like Luke and Deacon if you put them side-by-side.

_Yeah right. If they stood next to each other now, it would end with black eyes and broken bones for sure_. Luke had always had a sore spot when it came to Deacon anyway. There'd be no more "good ole boy" slaps on the back between those two if he ever found out Deacon had made his move.

Deacon's words that night in the kitchen came back to her, the way they did often now when she was alone.

_You and me, Ray. That's the way it's supposed to be. Maddie, and Daphne, and you and me. _

She wanted to say no, that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. She was going to marry Luke Wheeler, and make a life with him, and finally let go of this ridiculous hold to the past Deacon had on her.

But the instant she looked into Deacon's his eyes, everything she'd been so sure of, everything she thought she wanted had been shaken up, and ever since that night she couldn't seem to make anything go back to the way it was before.

And that kiss, well, she still wasn't sure she was recovered from _that_ and it had been a month ago. The man sure did know how to kiss. The kind of kisses that melted your bones, and turned your knees to jello, and sent the butterflies in your stomach swirling. Yes if there was one thing in the world Deacon Claybourne was good at besides picking a guitar and writing songs, it was getting a woman all hot and bothered.

Good grief. Her own dirty thoughts embarrassed her.

She groaned, and fell backwards onto the bed, burying her face in her hands. Then, tired of torturing herself, she put Deacon's ring back in that tiny blue box, and returned it to its hiding place. Luke's ring went into her jewelry box on the bureau, the safe-like one with a combination lock on it. You sure as hell didn't chance a 7 carat diamond getting knocked off the nightstand or left on the edge of the bathroom sink. The thing made her nervous. She didn't know how to tell Luke without hurting his feelings that a small simple diamond would have suited her just fine.

She had never been good about figuring out how to tell people how she felt.

That's what the stage was for.

With a sigh, she turned out the light and climbed into her bed. Alone. With no one but her restless dreams and her divided heart.

The next crisis hit Rayna when they were 50,000 feet in the air en route from Denver to Minneapolis.

"This is a disaster," she said to Luke over the phone. "I don't know what on earth I'm gonna do."

3 sold out arena shows in one weekend, and she was out a lead guitar player.

Luke's voice soothed her. "I'm sure you'll figure something out, Babe. Wish I could be there but I got this show in Seattle tonight, and then another tomorrow in Portland."

"I know," she sighed. "Something will work itself out. And we'll both be home in Nashville for the end of the month, right? I miss the girls so much. I can't wait."

"Yep. And then we can get down to the plannin' of this wedding business."

Rayna winced at the mention of that, because it was the absolute last thing on her mind right now. "We'll talk about that when we get home," she forced herself to sound cheerful. "I gotta go. Phone calls to make, guitar player to hunt up. Talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan. Love you."

"Love you too."

She pressed the off button, and then turned to Bucky, who sitting across from her, going through his own contacts trying like hell to find someone to fill in.

"You got Adria on a plane to San Diego, right?"

"Yes. She was going to call and give me an update when she's coming back once she knows how bad that accident was."

"Good, let me know. I feel awful about her brother. Did you call Craig Drexell? Can he do it?"

"No, he's in Florida on vacation with his family."

"Well great," Rayna grumbled, running down the list of names in her book again, as Bucky did the same. What about Rich Thompson? Did you call Rich?"

"I did. He's on tour with Case Porter right now. Liam?"

"No way. He'd never do it, I'd rather NOT, and I think he's in Ireland anyway last I heard. We don't really…speak."

"What about borrowing Pete from Juliette for a weekend?"

"I can't make that guy play two sets, 3 nights in a row. That's crazy," Rayna shook her head. She and Juliette were back on tour together. It had been better than she ever imagined, being the boss of her own label, her own tour, her own _life._ The fans were loving it, and they were selling out almost every show. Signing Juliette had been a huge asset, she wasn't too proud to admit that now. It had been rocky at first, but all smooth sailing now. Mostly. Juliette definitely had her moments.

Bucky sighed. "Well I don't know who else to call. We're running out of options, and we have to be ready for sound check by 5 tomorrow afternoon."

Rayna bit her lip and quickly flipped through the pages again, then threw the book aside and started going through the contacts in her phone. There had to be _some_onewho owed her a favor_. _Problem was, almost every big name tour had just went out in the last month. It was the beginning of the season. And this was a huge show, she didn't want anyone who wasn't up to par.

She could tell what Bucky was thinking, even if he didn't say it out loud. The expression on his face said enough. _Call Deacon._

"No!"

"Rayna, he knows all your songs," Bucky said patiently. "Hell, he wrote half of them. You know he'd say yes."

"I know he would," she grumbled. "That's what I'm afraid of."

Bucky raised his eyebrows. "So….what do you want me to do? I could see if Avery Barkley is available."

"No," she sighed. "Juliette would have a fit and I'm not in the mood to get into a …pissing match with her today. Go ahead and call Deacon and see if you can get him on a plane tomorrow morning."

"You don't want to….call him yourself?"

"Nope," she said firmly. "And make sure he knows it was _your_ idea."

"Okay then. I'm on it." He went to a seat at the other end of the plane to make the call in private.

A few minutes later, Bucky came back. "It's all good. He said he'd do it. I'll get it set up. We can charter a plane so there won't be any worry about delays."

"Oh, Lord help me," Rayna muttered.

She tried to steer her mind towards everything else business and show related, but a little while later, as they were landing, a new msg buzzed on her phone. From Deacon.

_I'll be there by 3 tomorrow. Got a surprise for you. You're gonna love it. _

By the time the next morning came, Rayna was a wreck. Hardly slept all night- like anyone could in those uncomfortable hotel beds anyway. No matter how much you paid for a penthouse suite, the beds always sucked. She sat up all night, with a notebook in her hand, scratching her thoughts into lyrics on paper. And thinking. Way too much.

She'd forgot how lonely it was being on the road. Sitting in hotel rooms after shows by yourself, eating room service, and watching bad television. It wasn't the same as it had been 20 years ago, that was for sure, when it had been about singing and writing all night, and late night partying, among…other things. Not that she didn't love the excitement of the tour, and the fans, and the performances, but…it was always a high that ended quickly, and she came down from it a lot faster than she used to. Something was missing that made it like it used to be, she just couldn't figure out what it was yet.

_Ugh, maybe I'm just getting old. _

Anxiously she sat in a plastic chair and waited for the plane to arrive. Then she got up and paced. And sat again. And paced. And went to the window when they announced that the plane was landing.

She should have brought Juliette along, she thought, drumming her fingers on her knees anxiously. Or Emily. Supervision. Supervision would be good. They hadn't been alone together for as much as five minutes since that night in her kitchen.

"Mom!"

She'd never been more surprised in her life when Maddie and Daphne practically ran out of the landing gate. Deacon was close behind them, a huge smile on his face and a guitar case in his hand.

_Oh, my poor heart. _She clutched a hand over her chest, feeling a few tears gather in the corners of her eyes.

He had brought her babies.

"Surprise, mom!" The girls flew into her arms happily.

"Did you guess, did you guess?" Daphne jumped up and down, holding onto her arm.

"I did not," Rayna said with a delighted laugh. "Not one little bit!"

"It was Deacon's idea," Maddie added, turning to give her father an admiring look. "He even talked to Dad about it."

She wondered how in the hell he had gotten Teddy to agree to that one.

"And they were _nice_ to each other," Daphne had to add importantly.

Deacon hung back a little, giving them their reunion. But he could see it in her face as she hugged them tightly, how much it meant to have them there. He hadn't brought them because he was trying to score points. He brought them because they missed her, and he knew it would make her happy. And that, in turn, made him happy.

She might have been the Reigning Queen of Country Music, but she was a mama first.

Over their heads, he could read her eyes. _Thank you._

First thing he noticed was that she was still wearing that obnoxious 7 karat ring, and that stung a little. He'd been keeping a safe distance since everything happened. Giving her time. Not wanting to be that guy that forced her to make a decision.

But he'd waited 14 years. He guessed he could wait a little longer.

He knew her better than anyone. And the look on her face that night when he'd pressed that ring into her hand, he knew. They were gonna be together. She might not be sure of it yet, but he was.

Her impulsive hug surprised him. Her arms around his neck. Her voice next to his ear. "Thank you," she murmured. "You will never know how much this means." It was quick, and then she let go.

But damn, if that didn't hit him right in the heart.

She turned away quickly, and back to her girls.

"Well, this is definitely the best surprise ever," Rayna said firmly. "What do you girls wanna do? I have a few hours before I have to go to rehearsal and start getting ready. We can get checked into the hotel, get something to eat, maybe? I'm so excited y'all are here!" She hugged them again.

Deacon loved watching the three of them together, couldn't hide the grin from his face. To see Rayna and the girls happy was everything to him. He lived every day now for those three smiles.

"Sounds good, I'm starving," Daphne said.

Deacon turned away, to gather up his stuff and hung back a little. Give em their space, give em their time.

Rayna looked back over her shoulder at him, both her arms slung around her girls. "You comin?"

"Nah, I got to get over to the arena and run through stuff with the band," he said. "I got a car picking me up. But I'll catch up with you girls later."

"You sure?" She asked tentatively.

"Yep," he said with a smile. "Have fun. See you in the front row."

"Bye, Dad." Maddie hugged him.

"Bye Uncle Deacon," Daphne jumped up for a hug and a hi-five. "Thanks for bringing us. And letting us drink coffee on the plane like big people."

"Shhhh," he winked. "You're not supposed to tell your mama that!"

Rayna laughed and rolled her eyes.

And the three of them walked away together arm in arm while he watched. With a sigh and a smile he sat down and waited for his ride. He pulled a tattered notebook out of his bag and started writing the lyrics that had been floating around in his head all day.

The best songs didn't always come from broken hearts. Sometimes they came from finding out you still had one that worked.

Maddie was super excited to get to watch the show from their front row seats. Having famous parents was sometimes a pain, but times like this, it was awesome. People thought they got to do this stuff all the time, but her mom was all about the homework and hanging out with their friends, "not famous people", so it was still really fun when they got to do it.

"I can't believe we got to meet Carter Franklin," Daphne said excitedly. "My friends are going to be sooooo jealous."

Maddie rolled her eyes like it was no big deal, but she was excited too. And besides, Carter was super cute. She may have had a _tiny_ crush on him. "He's lucky. He's the same age as me, and he doesn't have three parents telling him he's "too young" to have a record deal. He's like….going to be famous before he can drive."

"You _are_ too young," Daphne said importantly. "Besides, I don't want you to get signed and go out on tour."

"Oh, and why not?" Maddie crossed her arms and scowled.

"Because then you'll get famous and leave me."

Maddie felt real bad then, because she knew she hadn't been the best sister in the last few months. It was getting easier, but things were still hard, and she was still sorting out her feeling about everything. She wanted her mom to be happy. She wanted her dad to be happy too. The problem was: she wanted them to be happy "together". And now her mom was marrying Luke Wheeler. "I would never do that," she said, putting an arm around her little sister. "Because sisters are forever, right?"

Daphne got a little smile on her face. "Right."

"And besides," Maddie added with a wink. "I'd bring you along. Someone has to sing backup for me."

Daphne pointed and jumped up and down excitedly. "Look, here comes Mom and Deacon!"

It had been a really long time since Maddie saw them play together on stage. The last time, well maybe a few years ago, she thought it had been. Before the accident. Before Deacon started playing for Juliette. As Maddie watched them now, the implication of the genes she'd been given really started to hit her. Half from a famous singer, and half from a world class guitar player. That was an awful lot of fame to live up to. Maybe her mom's words from that conversation awhile ago made a little more sense. _I don't want you to have to live up to that pressure, Maddie. I want you to know it's because you're talented, and not because of who your parents are. _

_ Still, _she vowed as she watched her mom and dad bring the house down one song at a time. _That's gonna be me someday. _She looked down at her little sister. Maybe they were right though, waiting a few years wouldn't be so bad. Being with your family was nice too. But she'd never admit it out loud.

"This is kind of weird, right?" Maddie said to her sister as she watched them.

"What you mean?" Daphne asked.

Maddie rolled her eyes. The kid was only 10, of course she wouldn't get it.

"The way they look at each other," Maddie said impatiently.

Daphne studied her mom on the stage, and her sister's dad. It was kind of confusing sometimes now. She still called him Uncle Deacon, but Maddie called him Dad. She liked Deacon a lot. He was nice to her, and he was gonna teach her to play the guitar now, just like Maddie. Her dad even said it was ok. But Luke was nice too. She didn't know what he would be called if her mom married him. That was an awful lot of dads. Maybe too many. "Yeah," she said. "I guess."

"Did you ever see her look at Luke like that?"

"I don't think so," Daphne said troubled. "Is that bad?"

"No," Maddie said with a smile, happier than she had felt in a long time. "I think it's very, very good."

The show was explosive. The crowd was crazy, and crazier still even when they realized what a surprise they were getting: Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne back onstage together for the first time in years.

She was nervous, being out there with him playing next to her again, but it was amazing.

Rayna couldn't even let herself think, she could only feel. It was like it used to be, but 10x better. The fast songs were hotter, the slow songs were sweeter. Before switching to the new stuff, they had thrown some old songs into the set list. They were the songs her and Deacon written together years ago, and the magic was definitely still there. She forgot about everything else, the two rings, the worries about the label, even the crowd.

She just let herself sing what she felt. And let Deacon give her the looks that melted her bones. And maybe she shot a couple of her own his way too.

She never wanted it to end.

_My god,_ she thought after the lights when out and they came off the stage, Deacon's hand on her shoulder. _Three nights in a row like this, and I'm definitely going to need a week to recover. _

Apparently everyone else noticed too, because when they got backstage, Bucky was waiting.

With raised eyebrows.

"Hey, Buck," Deacon said easily and breezed past him. "Nice to see ya. Thanks for getting me here."

"You too," he said dryly. "Thanks for filling in." He looked at the two of them like a disapproving parent.

Deacon just grinned a cat-ate-the-canary smile and walked away.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Bucky said. "Well. Now I know why you didn't want me to call him. That was…interesting."

Rayna had the grace to blush.

"Oh come on, Buck, it's just a show, right? You know we gotta make it look good on stage," she said lightly.

"Yeah," he said, clearly not believing a word of it. "Just a show."

If that was true, he had some oceanfront property for sale in Oklahoma.

The girls had been sent back to the hotel with her and Juliette's assistant Emily, while Rayna disassembled herself and took a few minutes to unwind. She kept waiting for Deacon to appear in her doorway, but he never did.

Then unable to stand it any longer, she went looking for him backstage, accepting congratulations everywhere she went for "the best show of the year".

"Hey, uh, have you seen Deacon anywhere?" She asked her drummer casually.

He shrugged. "I think he left already."

"Oh," she tried to hide her disappointment. "Okay, thanks."

She snagged her driver to take her back to the hotel, and headed back to her suite, feeling a little blue to be alone after the extreme highs of the night. She stuck her key in the door of the suite and opened it up to hear laughter.

Three sets of very distinct laughter.

Deacon had beat her there. He was there with Emily and the girls, who were eating ice cream sundaes in their pajamas.

"Hey, there's your mama now," he said when she walked into the room, giving her a huge smile. "Some show, huh? You brought the house down for sure."

"Yeah, Mom, it was great," the girls chimed in. "You guys were awesome, people were going crazy!"

"Well thank you," Rayna said with a smile, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach at the sight of him, thinking the fact that out of all the things he could be doing after that crazy show, he'd chosen to come here first, to her kids. Once, she had thought it would be this way all the time. Playing shows, coming home to their family waiting. It was so close now…and yet so far away. "Sorry I'm so late. Took awhile to get everything settled up for the night, and I had to do a couple interviews."

"Well, I just came down to tell the girls goodnight," Deacon said. "So I'm gonna get out of here."

"Well that was….nice of you," she forced a smile.

She watched them inundate him with hugs, and then he gave her a wink, and turned to leave.

"Wait," she said before she could change her mind. "I'll walk you back upstairs."

The surprise was evident on his face. "Uh….okay."

They didn't say a word walking through the halls. Not touching.

He didn't even have to touch her. She was a foot away from him, and she felt like she'd touched an electric fence.

Outside his hotel room door, he waited before going in, waited for her to say whatever it was that was clearly on her mind. He could tell something was, just the way she fidgeted.

He'd always known Rayna better than anyone else. He was the only one who could call bullshit when she said "I'm fine" and she was lying. He knew when she wasn't fine.

"You got something on your mind, Ray?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said with a sigh. "A lot. That was a really good show."

"It was," he said with a smile. "Really good. Like old times."

She laughed softly. "Not quite like old times."

"Yeah. Good thing we got supervision now," Deacon said with a grin. Back in the day, the shows they played, it never failed to end with them running off the stage to practically rip each other's clothes off. More than once it had ended in an empty storage closet or the back of a car because well, a hotel was just too far to wait. They'd been good, Rayna and him. Better than good, in more ways than one. Goddamn amazing. Even after she married Teddy, and he had to accept that she wasn't his anymore, she was always his onstage.

Rayna couldn't hide a smile. "Yeah. Good thing. Thanks for bringing the girls this weekend," she said softly. "Really. You have no idea how much that meant to me."

He nodded. "I don't want you to think I did it because…you know, I had an ulterior motive. Maddie came to stay with me last weekend, and she seemed like she missed you."

"Its good having them here. Wish I didn't have three more months left on this tour. But we get a little time off at the end of this month."

He caught his hands up in hers, entangling their fingers, knowing he shouldn't even touch her because he wanted her so badly.

And somehow her mouth found his first. Tentatively, sweetly. Just like he remembered. She wanted him just as much. He could feel it radiate off of them, like a slow burn.

"You gotta go," he murmured between kisses.

"Why?" she whispered. "Why do I always have to go?"

With a sigh, he took her face in his hands and kissed her once more. Then he unwound her arms from his neck, and found her hands once more. "This is why," he said softly. He held her hand between them. The one with Luke's ring on it. "When you're ready to take that off…I'll be here. Until then…well, you know…I guess you're not mine, are you?"

Her eyes blurred with tears, because she knew he was right in a way, and yet so very wrong. Part of her would always be his. She just…didn't know what to do with that. She quickly swiped her tears away and forced herself to step away from him.

"Good night, Deacon," she said, regained her composure. "Thanks for filling in."

"No problem."

He turned to go into his room, and she turned to leave.

"Hey Deacon?"

He looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"We're going to go check out that big mall tomorrow," she said quietly. "The one with the rollercoasters. I promised the girls. Would you like to come with us?"

His smile couldn't have gotten any bigger. "I'd like that."

One step in the right direction. One step at a time.

It was so much fun to order room service the next morning with the girls and have breakfast in bed. Rayna picked up the local newspaper on the breakfast cart and thumbed through it. Then she put down the paper and opened her laptop.

"So I called the spa downstairs," she said to Daphne, who was lounging in an oversized hotel bathrobe and stuffing her face with chocolate covered strawberries. "And they're gonna send some people up in a little while to do pedicures, wont that be fun? And then we will go check out this fabulous mall I keep hearing about. "

"Yeah!"

"Mom?" Maddie asked, from where she was sitting on the sofa, engrossed in her phone as always. "Deacon wants to know what time we're leaving. Is he coming with us?"

"Yes," she said carefully. "I asked him if he wanted to spend the day with us. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, that's great," Maddie said, brightening. "What time should I tell him?"

"Oh, I don't know, just tell him to come down around noon," Rayna said absently as she scanned the online news reports on her laptop, looking through familiar sites for a review of the show last night. She needed all the positive reviews she could get.

_Oh good lord_. There was a review alright. And it was positive….positively comparing them to a modern day Johnny and June, talking about them sexing it up onstage. And a nice big old picture of them slinking up to each other. _The magic is back in Rayna James show, _it said across the top.

She clicked the X and closed up the sight quickly. Embarrassing! Oh god, if Luke saw that….

Guilt hit her smack between the eyes, as she was sitting there thinking this very thought, and her phone buzzed next to her, with a picture of Luke's face on it.

"Hey, sugar," his deep voice through the phone. "How was the show last night? Did you get that mess all figured out?"

"Oh, it was great," she said cheerfully. "Really, really…great. It's all good. How was yours?"

"Would been better if you were here. But it was alright."

"Yeah….oh, the girls are here," she said casually. "Isn't that great?"

"What, really?" Luke said with a laugh. "Well that's a nice surprise. Teddy bring them out?"

"Ummmm…. no," she said carefully. "Actually…Deacon did."

A long silent pause. That was never a good thing. "Luke? You still there?"

"Deacon is there?" he said levelly.

"Well….yes. I mean he's here, but not…here with us. now." All her words seemed to be coming out in a big old mess. "Just here for the shows."

"He came all the way out to Minneapolis for you to be able to see your kids? Well isn't that just the nicest thing ever."

She winced. Luke had a weird calmness when he was angry. He didn't yell or fight, he just got real quiet and severe. She had never decided if that was a good or a bad thing yet. She always wondered what came after that part.

"No," she said. "He came because Adria had a family emergency and I needed a guitar player. It's just three shows this weekend, and she'll be back I guess."

"So hes playing with you. Onstage." Luke said in a low voice.

"Don't get upset Luke, I told you it's just…doing me a favor. I mean, that's why I'm telling you. Because it's no big deal, and I want you to know."

"Yeah well that better be all he's doing." There was an edge to his voice in that comment.

She didn't like it.

"He brought my kids," she said, feeling a little defensive. "It was a nice thing to do. We're friends, you know that. And parents of the same child."

"Yeah, real nice," he muttered.

"Listen," she said softly. "I'll be home in a few weeks. And you will too. We can talk then."

"You bet. I look forward to it. Missin me some sugar. "

"I miss you too," she said.

She ended the call, and tried to put the worries behind her. A great day with her family was ahead. No time for tears, or worrying about the future. Ever since that accident she had told herself every day to live in the moment.

And that was exactly what she was going to do.

"I don't know, Dad," Maddie said as they got out of the SUV in front of the most ridiculously giant mall any of them had ever seen. "Are you sure you're ready for this? Braving the mall with three girls?"

Deacon smirked. "Can't be worse than anything I put up with from your mom or Juliette."

"Hey now!" Rayna laughed, and reached over and smacked him on the arm.

Daphne was jumping up and down, holding onto his hand. "It's a good thing you're here," Daphne said importantly. "Because Mom and Maddie do NOT want to go on that rollercoaster and I want to ride it sooooo bad. "

"Well, we better get to it, then. Gotta ride that coaster."

The roller coaster ride could be called a success. Rayna thought the girls would die laughing when the little picture at the booth came back.

"Dad, you made that face on purpose." Maddie said with a knowing smile as they examined it.

"No, I was really scared," Deacon insisted with a straight face.

"I wasn't!" Daphne exclaimed. "Let's do it again."

"Again!?" he said. "Are you trying to kill me? "

"No, it was fun!"

"Alright, ok, ok. Maybe we can get Maddie to go with us. And your mama." He looked at the two of them expectantly.

Maddie looked like she could be swayed, but Rayna no way.

"Oh no," she said, putting her hands up. "No way are you getting me on that thing."

"Mom," Maddie sighed. "You are the world's biggest chicken."

"Yes, I am," she said firmly. "And I'm very proud of that fact. Now you go on and go and I will stay right here on solid ground and enjoy the looks on your faces when you whizz by on that big camera thing over there."

In the end they did coax Maddie into going, and she admitted it "wasn't so bad." But Rayna could not be swayed.

She loved watching the three of them have fun together, though. And him. She found herself watching Deacon. His actions, his expressions, the way he was with the girls, all day. He was different. At ease. He had always been at ease with them, but it seemed like he was more comfortable with himself now, and who he was. She'd never really believed people changed much from the roots of where they started, but in the last year he had busted that theory wide open.

So she asked him. As they stood off to the side watching the girls pump quarters into the machines in the video arcade, both wearing shiny new pairs of boots he'd bought them.

"You're different," she said quietly. "What is it that changed you? Was it Maddie? Was it…me? The accident?" She thought about his speech that day at the benefit, about not defining people by their past. Way too much in both of their lives had been defined by the past.

Deacon didn't looked surprised to hear her say that. "I told you I was," he said, laughing softly. "You didn't believe me, huh?"

She sighed. "It's hard to believe people change, you know?" She wanted in her heart to believe it so badly, that he could be the man he swore he was. It hurt to doubt him, but it wasn't just her life in the mix anymore. It was her kids' too.

Deacon nodded, not looking at her, just watching the girls. "You remember what you said that day at the crash site? When you gave me the ring back?"

She remembered. _I think we both need to save ourselves now._ "Yes," she said. "I remember."

"You were right," he said simply. "I needed to save myself before anything else. "There used to be these…demons," he said. "Always two steps behind me, waiting there if I screwed up. But they're gone now. I don't know exactly when or why, or what moment…they just aren't there anymore. It's not like anything is perfect, but…it's good. I've learned a lot about finding…different ways to deal with things. Like disappointment," he said with a smile. It was a sad smile around the edges.

Her. He meant her. Because he loved her and there was still another man's ring on her finger.

Rayna had to soak that in for a minute. All those dreams they'd had once came flooding back to her. It was all there. She just…was so scared to let herself hope for any of that again. If it failed, she didn't know how any of them would ever get over it. And they would still have to be Maddie's parents no matter what happened. They would always have Maddie between them. She tied the very fiber of their lives together.

There was this feeling you got, when you were so close to everything you wanted. It was kind of like that rollercoaster ride right before you were waiting to go over the edge of the first hill. Terrifying. What if you dropped, and you didn't go back up the other side? What if you just kept falling?

She didn't know if it was worth the risk.

"You're a good father, Deacon," she said softly. "I just wanted you to know that. Whatever happens…with us."

"Thanks," he said, reaching for her hand. "That means a lot. I'm trying real hard, you know? To do things….right."

"I know." She felt like he wasn't just talking about Maddie anymore.

She definitely knew. The more she knew, the harder the choice she knew she had to make was getting in her mind. It was time to put on her big-girl pants and give back one of those rings.

"Uh oh," he laughed at the expression on her face. "I know that look. Trouble."

"You know what?" She said, determined, threading her arm through his. "Let's go." She waved the girls over.

"Go where?"

"I'm gonna ride that damn rollercoaster, Deacon Claybourne. And you're comin' with me."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Home sweet home.

Rayna dropped her suitcases next to the door. Then she collapsed on the sofa in relief and closed her eyes just to enjoy a few minutes of peace. Not a sound. Not. A. Sound.

It would get noisy pretty quick. Teddy would be bringing the girls home soon to spend the week with her, and Bucky would show up inevitably with some problem or another. Luke would be here for dinner, and his kids were in town so he'd be bringing them too. She had a week off from the tour, but it could hardly be called a vacation. Stacks and stacks of demos to go through, business meetings, meetings with potential artists. Exciting but overwhelming.

But for now, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence. Her mind drifted off until she didn't even realize she'd fallen asleep and was dreaming. Of strong, safe arms holding her, loving her. As long as those arms were around her, everything was right with the world. She'd had this dream before. Many, many times. So many times that she would never have admitted it out loud.

She was startled awake by a hand on her arm, and Luke's face hovering over hers.

"Musta been some dream." he said with a laugh. "You got the biggest smile on your face I've ever seen."

She sat up quickly, feeling her face flush, wondering if she'd said his name out loud._ His_ name. Deacon's. Not Luke's.

"Something like that," she murmured.

_Lord, help me. _

Rayna's idea to celebrate being home was that it would be nice to try having a family dinner with all the kids, kind of like a test run, since for once everyone was in the same place. Luke had been all for letting the kids mix it up.

In theory it was a brilliant idea.

In reality it was a disaster from the moment they all landed in the same room.

Luke's 17 year old Sage and her Maddie glared at each other across the table the entire time. His son Colt completely ignored them with whatever he was listening to on his headphones. Daphne, so much younger than the other three, just looked lost. The conversation was stilted. Rayna found herself trying way too hard, while Luke just sat there drinking his beer like he thought this was all just fine and dandy.

_They hate each other_, Rayna thought miserably as she watched the scene play out. It was like the final nail in the coffin. _How would we ever make a family out of this mess? _She had tried since the beginning to keep reminding herself that Luke's kids had been raised quite different than hers, but the differences had never been more evident than they were now. Headphones at the damn dinner table, no thank you that would never fly in her house. Neither would the pink streaks in his daughter's hair or talk of tattoos.

Finally Rayna gave up trying to make conversation, and one by one, the three surly teenagers got up and left the table. Daphne looked at her mom uncertainly.

"Go on upstairs, honey, and do your homework," Rayna said with a sigh. "I think this family dinner experiment is officially over. I'll call you for dessert in a little while."

Even Daphne looked relieved as she ran off.

Rayna finished cleaning up the kitchen while Luke settled himself in the family room with a beer in front of the football game.

Maddie came and stood in front of him, her arms crossed, feet planted.

She was really mad. Luke's dumb daughter had said exactly four words to her the entire night and they were "Your mom is lame." Maybe Colt would be cool- if he ever took off his stupid headphones and talked to anyone.

"She's not going to marry you, you know," Maddie said to Luke. "She would never do anything that wasn't okay with us, and it's _not_ ok. At all."

Luke had to give the kid credit, she sure had guts.

"Well," he said calmly. "I hate to break it to you, Maddie. But your mom and I are in this for the long haul. I know it's gotta be confusing for you kids, but sometimes you just gotta suck it up and realize that's the way it's gonna be."

"I don't think so," Maddie said just as calmly, without hesitation. She was supposed to respect adults, she had learned that from both of her parents since she was a tiny child. But she felt extremely disrespected by this man, who thought he was going to come in and marry their mom and no one had asked her or Daphne how THEY felt about it first. "I hate to break it to YOU, Mr. Wheeler, but my mother is in love with someone else."

Luke raised his eyebrows and looked like he was trying not to smile.

"I know it's hard, darlin, but-."

"I'm not a child," she said levelly. "Please do not talk to me like I am one."

She dropped her ipad purposefully on the sofa in front of him. And stalked out of the room.

_Damn teenagers_, Luke thought wryly. Apparently they were all alike. He would have easily let it go….if he wouldn't have glanced at that ipad and noticed the pictures Maddie had left out in plain view on the screen. Rayna and Deacon Claybourne onstage together. And from the looks of it, recently. He would guess the Minnesota concert series. But not just onstage. A bunch of pictures of the four of them hanging out together. A bunch of pictures of Deacon with his arm around Rayna.

He swore under his breath and dropped the damn thing back on the coffee table.

Maddie stomped into the kitchen where her mom was finishing up loading the dishwasher.

"Hey sweetie, you want to help me cut the pies for dessert?" Rayna said cheerfully. Maybe all was not lost. She wasn't giving up on salvaging the night yet.

"I hate him," Maddie said flatly.

Rayna didn't have to ask who "him" was.

"Well," Rayna said calmly. "Hate is a pretty strong word, and you know we don't use it in this house. So you want to tell me why? Seems like up to this point you and Luke have been getting along pretty well."

"I just do. He makes you act different, and," ….her voice cracked. "He's not my Dad. You're supposed to be with my dad."

That part at the end was like a stab to Rayna's heart. "What? Now Maddie…."

"He's not Deacon," Maddie said quietly. "I already have two dads, Mom. I don't need another one."

With tears in her eyes, and softer steps, she turned slowly and left the room.

Maddie's words cut like a knife, and echoed in Rayna's ears as she left the kitchen. What was she doing to them, really, but the same thing that Teddy had done when he married Peggy? Causing even more upheaval in their lives, and not consulting them one bit. Of course every kid wanted their parents to end up together, and Maddie had no idea that Deacon's ring waited for her mother upstairs in a little blue box.

If she took that chance with Deacon again, if it didn't work out this time, she didn't know how any of them would ever recover from it. It would destroy all of them, but especially Maddie.

But if she married Luke…well, she wasn't sure her children were ever going to forgive her for that either. Maybe Daphne would. That girl was so sweet and loving, she'd accept anyone that made her mom happy. But Maddie, she was going to fight this tooth and nail all the way.

_Why can't anything just be easy_?

With a sigh Rayna sank onto the sofa across from Luke. "Well that was officially a disaster," she said, distressed. "Who ever thought 3 teenagers at one table could give off so much hormonal angst, huh?"

Luke watched her with an intent look on his face, eyebrows raised.

"Uh oh," she said lightly. "Now you gonna be mad at me too?"

He handed her the ipad, with Maddie's photo album up on it. "That looks like a cozy little family vacation you had there. I thought he was just…what did you call it? Filling in? Was he filling in for me for that weekend, is that it?"

She looked at the pictures, and had to hold back her tears. Because they did look like a family, the four of them, and they were one, even if it wasn't in the traditional sense of the word. _Deacon was right._ She thought._ We were supposed to be a family from the beginning._ _This is how it's supposed to be_. _What the hell am I doing?_ She had never felt so lost.

Luke deserved her honesty. And so did her children.

"Listen," he said quietly. "I know he's Maddie father, but this…" he pointed to the pictures. "I'm not gonna share you, Rayna. When we get married, yeah, I can see him spending time with Maddie, but _this_ just ain't gonna be happening. Am I supposed to put up with him just I don't know…pretending that he belongs in these pictures? Because he doesn't."

Rayna sighed. "Maddie took those pictures, Luke. Because we are her parents, and she loves us. And yes, I suppose any kid always has a little hope that their parents will get back together. I guess her and I will have to have a talk about the….expectations of that."

"But you didn't answer my question. Is this the way it's going to be? I know Teddy put up with that for an awful lot of years, and I can tell you I'm not gonna."

She winced. "Luke, I think we need to go back to the beginning and talk about….all of this."

"That doesn't sound like the start of making wedding plans."

She tried to find the right words. "It all happened so fast, with the engagement and all, I just…wish I would have had a little time to think about it," she said quietly. "You put me on the spot, there, asking me onstage in front of all those people." And Deacon. She wondered if he'd done it like that just to stick it to Deacon, who had been standing there in the front row.

"Well of course I did," Luke said without hesitation. "Cuz I knew you wouldn't say no."

Rayna looked surprised at his blatant honesty, but then Luke had always been a cut-to-the-chase kind of guy. Some people might mistake his self-confidence for cockiness, but he was just a man who knew what he wanted, and he didn't sit around thinking about things, he just went out and did them.

In short, he was just about as opposite of Deacon as you could get. It would have been amusing, if this wasn't such a damn mess.

Rayna took a deep breath. And slowly slid the ring off of her finger. "I think I need to be giving you this back," she said softly. "At least for now. I need some…time to think about some things."

He looked so disappointed, that for a second she almost hesitated.

"That's not the way it works, darlin. Either you're all in or you're all out. And it sounds like you're tellin me you're out."

"Don't say it like that," she murmured, putting a hand on his arm.

He pulled away from her, but not just physically. She felt an invisible wall creeping up between them, and she knew. It was over. Luke wasn't a guy who was going to wait around for her to make up her mind. She didn't really blame him one bit.

Sometimes she wondered if with Luke their entire relationship was more about getting the past back with him. Back in the day, when they were all fledgling musicians trying to bust out, she had always known Luke had a thing for her. But her life, her mind, her heart, had always revolved around Deacon. Deacon won, he lost. They'd lost track of each other after a while, going their separate ways. She'd married Teddy. Luke got married too, although she knew it hadn't lasted long. She wondered if this was in some way his chance to finally "win".

"This is all Deacon, isn't it? You still have feelings for him." The way he said it, it wasn't a question. It was just confirmation out loud of what they both knew.

He'd known it since the beginning, but like a fool tried to tell himself that they were older and wiser now and Rayna would see past Deacon for once, and see him.

No such luck.

"I do," she whispered. "I don't know exactly what they are yet, but they're there. And that's not fair to you. You're a good man, Luke. You deserve someone who can love you completely, and not only have half a heart to give you," Rayna took his hand and pressed the ring into it.

Luke sat there looking at it for a second, not knowing whether to laugh or be angry.

Funny how a $300,000 diamond still couldn't trump a guy with a guitar sitting on the edge of a booze wagon. He'd never believe that Deacon Claybourne would ever change, and he thought Rayna was a fool for falling for it again.

With a sigh he shook his head. He reached over and took his hat off the coffee table. "Well I guess that's that then. I'm gonna go gather up my kids and get out of here." With great dignity, he straightened his shoulders and walked out of the room, and out of her life for the second time in 20 years.

Rayna waited until she heard the kitchen door slam to let the tears fall.

"Something's eatin' at you," Scarlett said. "You gonna tell me what it is or make me guess?"

"Nope," Deacon said without hesitation, not even looking up from his newspaper. "Neither."

"It's not good to let things go too long. I guess I learned that myself recently. In fact some wise old guitar player told me that."

"You callin me old? " He glanced over at her. Arms crossed, scowling at him from across the kitchen. It took a lot to get Scarlett worked up, but she could sure be a hardhead when she wanted to. _Gee I wonder which side of the family she gets that from. _

His eyes traveled to the picture on the table, the one Maddie had given him after their trip to Minneapolis. It was all four of them together sitting on the edge of the stage after the last show. He didn't even know who had taken it, but it sure looked right. He picked up that picture and put it down about 100 times a day.

"I gave Rayna her ring back," he said. "There. Are you happy?"

Scarlett almost dropped her coffee cup. "You…did? What'd she say?"

"She didn't say anything," he said impatiently. "And it sure as hell ain't the one she's got on her finger. So will you go away and let me be now? "

Scarlett got real quiet, and walked to the doorway.

"You didn't tell her the part where you made me go with you at 3 am to dig through the bushes for it, did you?"

"Nope," Deacon said, not looking up from his paper once. "Left that part out."

"Probably a good thing."

"Yup."

Deacon had hardy slept in 3 weeks, and he knew he was a wreck. He missed her something fierce. Being with them in Minnesota, then having to come back home with the girls, and without her, had hurt like crazy. Daphne had cried the entire flight. Maddie had tried to be the brave big sister, but he'd saw a few tears when she thought no one was looking. It had been good, spending that time together, but boy saying goodbye was hell on the heart.

He knew Rayna was home now for the week, Maddie had called him earlier, happier than he'd heard her in quite awhile. Daphne got on the phone ecstatically and told him about the cookies she'd baked for her mom and asked him if he wanted some tomorrow. He'd see them both the next day for lessons, and that would soften the hurt a little. For now. And the wondering.

He was driving himself fool crazy all the nights he laid there wondering if she was laying in bed somewhere with "No Hands on the Wheel"-er.

Sometimes like now when he couldn't sleep, he laid in bed with his guitar and let his mind drift back to the first night he'd ever met her. He played that old song, the very first one they'd ever played together at the Bluebird, until his eyes burned in the darkness and he finally fell asleep.

Out of all the memories he had lost over the years of booze, and pills, that night had thankfully never been struck from his mind. Funny how a moment could change the entire course of your life and at that place, that time, that very second you had no idea.

He'd been in Nashville for a couple years by then. Not getting far, but not sleeping in his truck anymore either. Had a bunch of songs on hold. Wished someone would just record the damn things already so he could feel like he was getting somewhere. Playing around town, sometimes on his own, sometimes for whoever would pay him a few bucks to lead their band, bartending on the side.

He'd been working that night at the Bluebird when Watty White came in the backroom where he was sorting the liquor inventory.

Watty was a legend in this town, and everyone knew it. If Watty said you were good, you were damn sure going to be expected to live up to that talent.

"_Mr. Claybourne. Just the man I was looking for. I got this girl here playing here tonight for some execs and she needs a guitar player." _

_ "Uh….okay?" Deacon shrugged. "I guess. Gimme a few minutes to finish this up." _

_ "Great. I'll stick her in the empty room next door to wait." _

_ Someone spoke up from behind Watty then, and Rayna James stepped into the doorway. And plowed into his life like a freight train. _

_ "I don't need one," she insisted stubbornly. "I'll do just fine on my own." _

_ This "girl" Watty had his eye on as the next big thing, couldn't have been more than 17, with hair the color of fire and flashing bue eyes. She stood with one hand cocked on the hip of her denim skirt, giving him a look of skepticism. _

J_udging from the expensive brand of the white leather boots on her feet and the brand on the guitar case propped up next to her, she sure as hell wasn't from east Nashville. Yeah, they all thought they could make it. Little tone-deaf rich girls who wanted to pretend they could sing or play to get attention. Slummin' with the poor musicians who lived off tips in coffee cans to piss off their rich fathers. He looked her up and down blatantly, daring her to respond._

_She definitely noticed. She straightened, and folded her arms across her chest defiantly, challenging him. _

_ Deacon just laughed. "I'm sure she can buy a guitar player somewhere else, Watty. I gotta get back to work." _

_ She glared at him, turned around and stomped off down the hall, awkwardly dragging that guitar case like it had lead blocks in it. _

_ Watty just sighed, and shook his head. He made sure that she was out of earshot before he turned back to Deacon. "Listen, that girl's got a voice like an angel, and nerves of steel. But playing guitar? She's awful. Help a man out here, Deacon."_

_ He didn't say anything, just went back to stacking bottles on the shelf. And Watty sighed and left. _

_ A little while later curiousity got the best of Deacon when he heard the sounds coming from the practice room next to the storage room, coming through the vents right next to his head. _

_ The most unbelievable voice he'd ever heard singing a cover of an old Tammy Wynette song…..accompanied by the worst guitar playing he'd ever heard in his life. His 3 yr old niece could have done a better job picking those strings. But that voice could stop your heart for a full five seconds. _

_ He stopped stacking boxes and went in the hall. He stood in the doorway of that room, listening for a few more minutes, with her back to him as she sat on an old metal chair and desecrated that poor guitar. _

_ She was swearing up a storm, trying to hit the right notes. It was starting to sound like some kind of awful, curse-filled TV jingle in the little room. _

_ Deacon couldn't help it. He laughed. Not at her, but at her determination. It took guts to stick your neck out and try and make it in this business. She might have the guts and the voice, but her guitar playing wasn't going to get her very far. Either you had that skill or you didn't, and well….she didn't._

_ She whirled around, and stood up with the guitar in her hand. _

_ He thought she would be pissed that he'd laughed, but there were tears in her eyes. _

_ Something about that got to him. And not much got to him. Ever. _

_ He sat down on the stool next to her and held out his hand. "Gimme that." _

_Reluctantly she handed him the guitar. _

_ "For one thing," he said, turning the pegs. "It's way out of tune. See, doesn't that sound better?" _

_ "I wouldn't know," she said, scrubbing her face with the back of her hand. "I've never had lessons, just this stupid old book and I'm trying to teach myself." _

_ "Now what are you trying to play?" _

"_Til I Can Make it On My Own." _

_ "Uh…okay. What's your name, Princess?" _

_ "Don't call me that," she said. "Please." _

_ "Okay, you got a name then?" _

_ "It's Rayna. Rayna…um…Jaymes." _

"_I thought Watty said you were Lamar Wyatt's daughter?" Everyone knew Lamar Wyatt. He owned half the town. Deacon thought personally he was a pompous jackass. _

_ "Well nobody needs to know that," she said, lifting her chin. "I make my own way. So it's Jaymes." _

_ He started to play the song she'd picked, and she started to sing. _

_ He couldn't even find the right words when they finished. He was blown away. _

_ She was good. Really good. More raw talent than anyone he'd ever heard. Watty had hit a homerun with this one. _

"_Tell you what, Ms. Jaymes," he said, emphasizing her last name. "From now on, how about you take care of the singing part and let me take care of the pickin?" _

_ "I don't have anything to pay you," she said softly. _

_ "Aw hell, I ain't worried about that." _

_ He didn't want to ask why the daughter of the richest bastard in town didn't have any money and was apparently trying to "make it on her own", but he thought better of it. _

_Around the corner, Watty just leaned against the wall and listened. And smiled. Yep, he'd done his part here. _

_ The rest was up to them. _

"Mom, hurry," Daphne called impatiently from the front door where she was standing with a plate of chocolate chip cookies. "We're gonna be late for our lessons."

"Yeah, I'm comin'." Rayna grumbled, gathering up her purse and sunglasses. She was torn between wanting to see Deacon so badly, and wanting to hide from him. The man could read her like a book. He'd take one look at her red eyes and puffy face, no makeup and messed up hair, and call her out in an instant

Maddie came bounding down the stairs with her guitar case in her hand.

"Mom," she said solemnly, while Daphne was still out of earshot. "I just want you to know that I love you."

"Thanks honey," she said with a sigh. Maddie knew that the engagement was off. Daphne, however, did not. Rayna was still trying to figure out how to tell her that. She'd started getting used to the idea of having a "big brother", and riding Luke's horses, and now all of that was not going to be. "You've been a real big help this week." She didn't want to miss him, but she did. She _had_ cared about Luke, and it was just like any other break up. Hard to get used to.

"I wish you didn't have to leave again on Sunday."

"I know. Me too. 3 more months and we're done til next year."

"MOM!" Daphne yelled again. "_Dea_conis _wait_ing_!"_

"Alright already!" She exclaimed, linking arms with Maddie as they walked out of the house and towards the car. "God forbid we keep Deacon waiting."

The irony of that statement was not lost on her at all as she said it out loud.

She had convinced herself that the best thing was just to drop them off and come back in two hours, but Daphne's disappointed look was all it took to let the girls drag her up the front porch of his house where Deacon sat in a wooden chair waiting for them to arrive.

She watched as he accepted Daphne's plate of cookies with great enthusiasm, and then the girls bounded into the house and left them alone together on the porch.

"Hey," he said, reaching out to give her a hug. "Welcome home."

"Thanks," she said with false cheerfulness. "Daphne really wants me to hear her play. Is alright if I hang out for awhile?"

"You know it is," he said, looking her over carefully as they went into the house. The girls were

In the other room setting up their stuff. "What's wrong?"

She looked tired, which could be expected, but she also looked like she was a mess in general. . No makeup, no earrings, old holey jeans and flip flops on her feet. She could still make the cover of Country Weekly, hell she could roll out of bed and do that, but it wasn't "her." For Rayna to be not completely put together was pretty off.

_Damn him!_ Rayna thought, wishing he knew her a little less for once. Wishing he didn't make her feel things she didn't want to feel just by standing there looking at her.

"Nothing," she said, forcing a smile. "Nothing's wrong. Just been a busy week already. No rest for the weary, right?"

Deacon's expression said he didn't believe her one little bit. "I know you, Ray. Something's wrong, now what is it?"

"It's nothing," she said insisted softly. "Don't worry about me, the girls are waiting for you."

But she unconsciously reached up to brush a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, and he saw it.

The ring was gone. His ring wasn't there either but…the boulder was definitely gone.

He caught her hand in his before it landed back at her side, and locked eyes with her questioningly as his thumb traced the empty spot on her finger.

"Please don't ask right now," she murmured. "Because I don't want to get upset in front of the girls."

"I see," he said, feeling like the weight that had been sitting on his chest for the last 2 months got a little lighter. "Talk later?"

_No_, she wanted to say. "Yes."

In the other room, the girls were starting without them.

Rayna's eyes got teary as she heard their sweet beautiful voices launch into "The Blues have Blown Away".

"Come on," Deacon said. "Girls are waiting. You gonna come and listen?"

"Yep. You gonna give me my hand back?"

He gave her the smile she loved, brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Not a chance, sweetheart. Not a chance."

_ There's a silver lining behind every cloud they say _

_ Looks like the blues have blown away…._


	3. Chapter 3

He didn't have to say anything else besides those two words. "Talk later?" She didn't ask when, didn't ask where. She just knew.

When she got to the bridge later, Deacon was already there. Sitting on the picnic table with his back toward her. How many times they had met at this place, she couldn't even begin to count, but no matter how the conversation ended, they always found themselves back here.

Rayna sat in her SUV for a few minutes before she got out. And she watched him, the way the wind blew his dark hair, the way he stared off into the distance squinting against the bright late afternoon sunlight. His thinkin' face, she always secretly called it. As well as he knew her, she knew him too. He had the greatest hair, the perfect kind of hair to tangle your fingers in when he was kissing you to distraction. His face was a face that got better as he aged, with the laugh lines around his mouth and the smile that went to his eyes. His shoulders had carried the weight of the world, but it seemed like his step was lighter these days.

Never had a man tried and fallen so many times, and he just kept getting back up. He had waited for her much, much longer than she deserved.

Sometimes she wondered why he hadn't just given up on her a long time ago.

She knew he probably wondered the same thing about her. Why she hadn't just put him in rehab that fifth time and walked away for good. Everyone told her she should have. She was married by the time he got out then, had a family. She should have walked away from him and never looked back. And yet six months later she'd been there asking him to come back onstage with her.

Thankfully, the stubborn side of her had never been too good at listening to other people.

And here they were 14 years later, everything they'd ever wanted waiting in front of them. It had been a broken road, but it was their road, their path, and it all had led them to this moment.

She _did_ want it. She just didn't know if she was brave enough to reach other and grab it. Heartache had a way of wearing a person down, building your walls high. You learned to put on a brave face in front of everyone else, and keep your hurt to yourself. There was the stage version of her, and the version only the people she loved saw. And him. He saw parts of her that no one else had ever been able to reach. He could get her to let her guard down when no one else could.

When he turned and saw her coming down the slope, his face changed. And his eyes. He wore his heart in his eyes. She had come to realize their daughter has those same eyes. Maddie, with her heart of gold and her eyes that could never hide her feelings, was more like her father than she would ever realize. It made her hurt for those years he'd lost with their daughter.

"Hey," he said, relieved to see her.

Maybe he thought she wouldn't come, she wondered for a second.

But they always came back to each other. They had been doing it for years, even when they weren't together. They could sling the most awful things at each other in moments of anger, but she knew if she called him 10 minutes later, he'd be there. That had to mean something.

"Hey," Rayna forced a smile as she walked towards him and sat down on the edge of the old wooden table.

They sat quietly for a minute, and then his hand found hers, and she leaned into his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"It was me," she said. "I broke it off, not Luke."

Deacon looked instantly relieved.

She knew that meant to him she wasn't here because he was her second choice, or because she was saying goodbye. It meant she was here because she wanted to be. With him.

"It was hard…I did care about him, you know? Just not enough, or the right way or…something. I haven't quite sorted it all out yet," she said quietly. "But I know it wasn't the same….as with you."

He nodded. He knew. The break up with Megan had been really hard. Not only the circumstances of how it had happened, but also the fact that afterwards he had realized that he although he had felt something for her, it wasn't love. Maybe it was just the need to keep trying to convince himself that it was possible to feel something for someone else. But you couldn't force what wasn't there. And you couldn't force away what was.

"It takes awhile to…get over someone."

Sometimes you never did.

They had both tried to move on so many times, he had tried to convince himself that it could work with others, but all he was doing was lying to himself. Rayna was it for him. She always had been, since the moment she walked into his life with a great song and a terrible guitar solo. She was his best friend, his other half. She was the one who made him get up every day and want to be a better man. For her and for his daughter. And for himself.

"I was thinking last night," he said with a smile. "About the first time I met you."

Rayna laughed and bumped her knee with his. "A spoiled teenage girl with an expensive guitar I didn't know how to play? I'm sure you were very impressed."

He grinned. "Well not with your guitar skills."

"Hey, now."

"Boy, that was a long time ago, huh? We've come a long way."

"Yup." Her bottom lip quivered.

"You know I love you, Ray. More than anything in the world. It's always been you."

"I know," she murmured.

He touched her cheek with his hand. "What's holding you back, darlin'? Just tell me. Talk to me."

"I'm afraid it won't be the same," she whispered, her eyes teary. "It's not like we're kids trying to make it anymore, you know? There's so many more…complications now."

"It won't," he said. "It'll be better. Life changes, you either have to keep up with it or you get left behind."

"I want to believe you so badly. I _want _this. It's just…hard not to wonder."

"We got the rest of our lives to figure it out, we don't have to know everything right now," he said softly. "It's like the rollercoaster, Ray. You just gotta take the chance, right?"

She laughed, thinking of how she'd practically broken his fingers waiting for that first drop. How it took your breath away, and for a second, just for a second you wondered if you were going to survive. But you did. And you were a braver person because you had faced the thing that scared you the most.

"I'm not really sure of anything," she said, her voice a little wobbly. "Except that I love you. And that's the only thing in my life that has never changed."

She opened her hand, and he saw she had the ring in her palm.

He sighed. "Are you givin' that back? Is that why you brought it?"

"Hell no," she said firmly.

The way she said it made him smile.

"But I don't think it's ready to be on my finger yet. I want to make sure we can make this work, Deacon. For good. We're both different people than we were 20 years ago. There's…the girls involved. Maddie's hopes are so high already. If this didn't work…."

He could see it in her face. The absolute desperation to believe him, the fear that they wouldn't make it. "I can't promise you that it will be perfect, Ray, but I can promise you I'm sure as hell gonna try."

"I believe you. So I'm keeping this," she said, closing her hand around the ring again. "Til we can, you know…tell the girls. And see how things go. Until the moment is right."

His eyes crinkled into a smile as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her til her toes curled in her boots. "You better."

"Oh, I'm gonna."

"How much time you got before you have to get back to the girls?"

"Til morning," she murmured between kisses. "They're at a sleepover."

"Oh is that so?" His mouth found the spot on her neck that always made her shiver.

"Yep."

"Guess it's a good time to start makin' good on that promise then, huh?"

"Hell yeah. You better."

There was so many wasted years of I love you's and Im sorry's and other moments that he couldn't remember, that he would trade anything to get back. He only knows some of what happened from what they have talked about, but this, this he will burn into his mind and his heart forever: the day he got her back for good.

########################

Tandy knew instantly. She walked into the house and after five minutes of watching Rayna wander around the kitchen pick up and put the same things down a million times, she pointed to a kitchen chair. "Sit."

"What?" Rayna fussed with the tulips in a vase.

Tandy gave her the big sister Look. "What happened?"

Rayna's eyes immediately went to the stairs.

"Don't worry about them," Tandy said. "They're so tired from staying up all night and swimming all afternoon at the pool party, they're sacked out on Maddie's bed taking a nap."

"Thanks for picking them up, by the way. I had a meeting this afternoon with a couple potential new artists. I want 2 of them, not so sure about the third one." She'd been trying to keep her mind on business all day, but it was hard to keep her mind on anything after having to drag herself out of his bed this morning. And his arms. Somehow Deacon's arms around her made everything right with the world.

She had missed him the instant she was driving away.

"Well that's great," Tandy said. "Now stop talking business and start talking sister."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Rayna left the flowers alone and moved on to rearranging the apples in the fruit bowl.

"Where's your ring?"

"Which one?" She said absently, without even thinking. She winced. Her sister was like the Mouth of the South. Considering they were trying to keep everything quiet for a little while, Tandy was the LAST person who should know, or everyone would. She was worse than a tabloid reporter.

"Which _one_? There's more than _one_?" Tandy looked like she was ready to have a stroke. "Good grief, I was only gone for three days. What happened?"

Rayna chewed her finger nail. "I gave it back."

"_What_?!"

"I gave it back," she repeated. "We're not getting married."

"We're still talking about Luke, right?"

"Yup."

"You know, I never liked him much."

Rayna laughed. "Says the woman who asked if he had a brother. Thanks for the vote of support, but you loved him and you know it."

"Okay, okay so you gave Luke back his ring. And yet you're not crying."

"Did that already."

"You're not missing him."

"Hmmm…a little. I miss his pancakes."

"That look on your face," Tandy said, eyeing her up. "For someone who just called off her engagement you look an awful lot like someone who is getting some. You know… "getting some", she emphasized.

"What?! I do not…" Rayna protested, feeling her face flush. She turned away from her sister and started rearranging cereal boxes in the cupboard.

"Yes, honey. You do. What's going on? Please tell me you're not …flinging around with Liam again. I mean with that whole Scarlett thing, that would just be too weird."

"Oh good grief, no."

With a sigh, Rayna sank onto a kitchen stool across from her sister. She didn't know how to get the words out. So she just said it. Flat out. "It's Deacon. Deacon and I are…you know…trying things again." She sidestepped telling Tandy about the ring. She'd never told her sister about it, even all those years she'd been married to Teddy and it had been hidden away. It was too private. Too close to her heart.

Tandy's face didn't change one bit.

"Why don't you look surprised," Rayna asked.

"Because I'm not," Tandy replied. "You two have been acting like second graders with a crush around each other for months. Every time he comes to get Maddie, he looks at you and you look at him as soon as his back is turned. It would be humorous if it wasn't so darn pathetic."

"Oh, we have not."

"Yes," Tandy said, taking a sip of her coffee. "You have. So…..did you tell the girls?"

"Not yet. I think we're just going to….keep it to ourselves for a little while. See what happens. So don't say anything. To anybody. Especially Teddy. They're just finally pretending to get along," Rayna said with a sigh.

"Might be a good thing. You know Maddie's hopes will be high. And after last time, well, with the accident and everything. You don't want to jump the gun on anything, sweetie."

"We're not. We're just…starting over, sort of. It's different this time."

"Honey, you know I have nothing against him," Tandy said quietly. "I know you love him, and you always have, but I've heard you say that before."

"It is," Rayna said firmly.

"Do you think it's going to work?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. Little by little her doubts were slipping away.

"How can you be sure?" Tandy persisted. "How do you know something isn't going to go wrong and he's going to fall off the wagon a year from now? What's different?"

"Him."

##################

The week at home went too fast for Rayna, trying to fit in all her business obligations and shuffle the girls around to their dance lessons and soccer practices, rehearsals for the next leg of the tour, and sneak in a moment or two with Deacon when they "thought" no one was looking.

"You're not fooling anyone," Juliette said to her no-holds-barred at rehearsal Wednesday afternoon. "When you come out of the storage closet and Deacon comes out five minutes later. Jeez, what are you, 19 year olds? You have houses!"

Her face flushed.

Guess they weren't doing such a good job being inconspicuous as she thought.

Before she knew it, it was Thursday night and the girls were glumly packing up to go back to Teddy's. She was leaving in the morning for another month on the road.

Rayna sighed as she watched them head upstairs to grab their bags. Leaving them behind never got any easier, and she'd been doing it on and off since Maddie was five.

Her phone buzzed on the kitchen counter next to her, and she glanced at it.

His name made her smile.

"Hey, Babe."

"Hey Darlin. Miss you already. What time's your plane leaving?"

She glanced behind her to make sure no teenage ears were listening. Force of habit.

She winced. "7 am. On a plane with Juliette that early in the morning, doesn't that just sound like _fun_?"

Deacon laughed. "You…uh…you have the girls tonight?"

"As a matter of fact," she said lightly. "Teddy's picking them up in about an hour. I didn't want to have to get them out the door so early in the morning."

"Oh I see. Does that mean I get to see you before you go?"

She laughed softly. "You better."

"I'll be there in 10 min."

"It takes 20 min to get across town."

"I know," he said. "I'm already halfway there."

###########################

Teddy was a little early picking up the girls.

Deacon met him coming up the front steps. They gave their regards to each other civilly, but Teddy still had a tendency to get that defensive look, like "what the hell are you doing here?" every time they came across each other, no matter if it was at the house or one of the girls performances, or backstage.

Even though it had been two years since Teddy and Rayna had been separated and then divorced it was still never what you would call pleasant, dealing with him. And Deacon only managed it for Maddie's sake. In the past he'd thrown his share of jabs, and Teddy had thrown some of his own right back. But like it or not, this guy had raised his daughter, and Teddy was the only link for all the years he'd missed with her. So he managed it. For Maddie. And for Daphne, because Teddy was her dad and she loved him.

Deacon couldn't deny it though, it was a pretty good feeling when they both walked in and he got those big hugs from the girls, just the same at Teddy did.

"I didn't know you were coming," Maddie started lobbying immediately. "Can I stay at your house tonight?"

"I would love that, but I have rehearsals and shows all weekend," Deacon said. "But next weekend, alright? Got some fun stuff planned for then."

Maddie looked disappointed. "I guess. What are you doing here, then?"

He forgotten to back himself up on that part. "Oh, I just had some…paperwork. For your mom. About…a show we're doing. Maybe."

Rayna watched him from the kitchen doorway trying to hide a smile. Staying far away. He knew why. It wasn't gonna stay a secret for long, the vibes between them were like fire when the wind blows.

He listened to her and Teddy discuss all the girls plans for the week, amazed as always how Rayna ever kept track of it all. All the practices and dentist appointments, and various other parental obligations.

"The only problem I think will be Tuesday," Teddy was saying. "Because I have a dinner event at city hall at 6. Maddie has soccer practice until 5:30, and Daphne has a ballet lesson at 6."

"I can call Jenny," Rayna was saying. "She could probably drive them."

"I can do it," Deacon offered. "If you want me to. Just tell me where we gotta go."

She looked surprised.

Teddy looked irritated.

"Alright then," Rayna said before Teddy could put his two sense in. "Girls, do you have all your things?"

They gathered up their bags, and he watched the girls put on their brave faces and hug her goodbye. Rayna tried to be all cheerful as she watched them get into Teddy's car and drive away, but as soon as they were gone, she let Deacon pull her into his arms and she let the tears fall.

Saying goodbye to the girls was always hard. She hated missing things. She hated hearing them talk about the parent night coming up at school, and the music lessons, and the things that happened at school, and know she wasn't going to be here. This was their life, this was "normal" to them, and all they had ever known, but it still never got any easier.

It was only a month. 30 days. 15 shows. Not that long, and yet it seemed like forever.

"I think maybe this is going to be my last album," Rayna said quietly as they lay on the sofa later in front of the fire, all tangled up wrapped in a quilt she'd grabbed off the back of the couch. They'd never made it anywhere near the stairs. "Saying goodbye" was taking all night. She was going to be an emotional mess by morning. "And my last tour. For a few years at least. Think it's time to….be home for awhile. Concentrate on building up Hwy 65. Signing other artists, building a tour without me in the middle of it."

His brow furrowed as he raised his head and looked at her over her bare shoulder. "Is that what you want?"

"I'm thinking about it. I love being on tour. I love the fans and making music, but maybe smaller shows would be better. Local ones. I have to find a way to do that and still be here for our girls, you know? They're growing up too fast."

She said "our", Deacon noticed. It made him smile and he leaned in for another kiss. "They sure are."

"Thanks for offering to help. On Tuesday, I mean. I'll write down when and where they have to go."

"Gotta figure it all out sometime right?" He said reasonably. "If I'm gonna be around. You know I never had much of a…family when I was a kid. I want that, Ray. With you. And them. More than I ever wanted anything."

She loved him for loving her girls so much.

"I love you," she said softly. "For loving us."

His mouth met hers again. And then she felt him start to laugh.

"What?" she murmured, with a smile. But she thought she knew what he was going to say before he even said it. A scramble of quilts, untangling of limbs, and she was reaching for the nearest pad of paper while he went for the guitar in the corner.

He didn't have to say a word and she could read this thoughts, because they were the same as hers.

_Babe, I just had the best idea for a song… _

**So obviously they didn't write THIS song, but with all the references to Merle Haggard in the last two episodes, this song really inspired this chapter for me, and that's why I'm including it here. ;)**

_Today I started loving you again _

_I'm right back where I've really always been _

_I got over you just long enough to let my heartache mend _

_Then today I started loving you again _

_What a fool I was to think I could get by _

_With only these few million tears I've cried _

_I got over you just long enough to let my heartache mend _

_Then today I started loving you again. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Some of this was inspired by a video my daughter found online called "Riding in the Backseat" by the Stellas. We LOVE that song, and that video, if you haven't seen it, go look it up on youtube. If you have kids, bet you will be teary-eyed by the time you're done **

**The Tuesday night shuffle. **

"Hurry," Deacon kept saying. "C'mon we don't wanna be late or Teddy will never let me hear the end of it."

Picking Maddie up from soccer practice at the field by her school didn't pose too much of a problem because he had done that before. Finding this studio downtown for the ballet lesson was another, and of course they got lost, but Daphne scooted through the doors with 3 minutes to spare.

Whew now he could breathe again.

"What are we supposed to do now?" He asked Maddie.

Maddie shrugged. "Mom usually stands around and talks with the other moms. When it's Dad's turn he drops Daphne off and comes back."

Deacon looked around at the throng of women standing around staring at them and whispering behind their hands, no doubt wondering what Deacon Claybourne was doing with Rayna Jaymes and the Mayor Conrad's daughters, and ready to start a whole new round of rumors and fuel for the tabloids. He got recognized all the time and it hardly bothered him, but suddenly it was different now, having the girls with him. He didn't know how Rayna dealt with it, the press always in her face. He was starting to understand a lot more lately why she'd freaked out so badly about Maddie and her video.

"Well we're not leaving and coming back. I hardly found my way the first time."

They ended up taking a walk through the neighborhood. Picked up some sandwiches from a street vendor, went into a vintage music store so Maddie could pick out a few albums she wanted. She had recently found an old record player in Rayna's basement, and he got a kick out of hearing her play those old vinyls. Sure as hell was better than all the digital download crap that seemed to be the thing with kids these days.

He always cherished these times alone with her, knowing how damn fast she was growing up.

"You know, I get my learner's permit in a few months," Maddie said as they walked. "In the fall."

Deacon stopped dead in his tracks. "Really?"

"Yup. Maybe you and mom can take me out driving."

That was a terrifying thought. Both having a kid on the road and Rayna teaching that kid to drive. She'd always been the epitome of a distracted driver, trying to take business calls and put on her lipstick and steer all at the same time.

"You better let me take care of that," he said with a smirk. "Your mom has a driver for a reason. And she would be the first to admit that."

Maddie laughed. "She's so funny, isn't she? I love her so much."

He slung his arm around her shoulders as they walked. "Me too."

In the backseat of his truck on the way back to Teddy's he noticed in the rearview mirror that the girls were restlessly jabbing at each other.

"You ask him," Maddie whispered, jostling her younger sister with an elbow.

"No, you ask him," Daphne said, not as good at whispering, and elbowing Maddie right back. "He's YOUR dad."

"How about you both just ask me whatever it is and quit pokin' at each other," Deacon said, amused.

Maddie looked uncomfortable.

"Are you and Mom going to get married?" Daphne blurted out.

Well that wasn't the question he'd been expecting, and it threw him off guard completely. He and Rayna had talked about having the "seeing each other" conversation with the girls at the end of the month when she got her next break on the tour, but it hadn't been done yet. And he and Rayna hadn't even gotten back to that "other conversation" themselves yet, the one that started with wedding plans. It lingered there always in the back of his mind.

He knew Rayna was leery about how it was all going to come off to the press, her breaking it off with Wheeler and then suddenly showing up engaged to someone else. He knew that was the biggest reason she wasn't wearing that ring. He hated that she even had to worry about it. He just wanted it on her finger, so they could officially call themselves a family once and for all. But still patiently he waited.

"Uh…why would you….think that?"

"We know you're dating."

Deacon scrambled for the right words, wishing she was here. Because Ray always knew the right thing to say, and this was the absolute last conversation he wanted to screw up. "How did you guys…"

"Paperwork." Maddie said, rolling her eyes.

"What?"

"The other night at the house you said you were there for paperwork."

"Yup."

"You didn't have any papers with you. "

Damn, they were good at paying attention. He tucked that little piece of information away in his mind. _Note to self:_ _kids don't miss a damn thing._ He'd best remember that in the future.

"And besides," Maddie added. "I heard Mom and Aunt Tandy talking. Did you ask her?"

"Ask her what?"

The girls both looked at him exasperatedly.

He would never understand how womens' minds worked, no matter how old they were. Were you just supposed to _guess_ what they were thinking every time?

"To marry you." Maddie said pointedly.

"How would you feel about that?" Deacon said cautiously. "If I did?"

"Are you kidding? It would be the best thing ever," his daughter said without hesitation.

"Yep." Daphne said echoed. "Best thing ever."

He hid a smile. "I'll keep that in mind."

He wished more than anything Rayna could be listening to that conversation right now, and it made him miss her so bad his chest hurt.

Wished she could be there listening to them talk about dresses and flowers and cakes.

He texted her. _I'm gonna call you. Don't say anything. Just listen. _

_##################_

Rayna was sitting in the makeup chair, getting her glam on for the night's show when her text message alert went off. She glanced down at her phone, mystified when she read the message.

"Can you give me a few minutes alone?" She waved off the hair and makeup people. "I need to make a call."

They obliged, leaving her alone in the room as she waited impatiently.

Her phone rang a few minutes later.

Deacon had the speakerphone on.

She could hear Maddie and Daphne giggling in the background and going on and on about getting their hair done, and all the famous celebrities that would be invited to something, and then they started arguing about what color dresses they wanted. Apparently Maddie wanted purple, and Daphne wanted yellow.

Deacon turned off the speakerphone and put it back to his ear.

"I miss them. What in the world are they doing?" Rayna asked with a laugh. "Planning their first CMA win?"

"Uh, I guess they're planning a wedding," he said, unable to keep the smile out of his voice. "Ours. See somehow they got this crazy idea in their heads that I wanted to marry you…"

1600 miles away in a backstage room in Tucson, Rayna couldn't hold back the tears that rolled down her face.

"That doesn't sound so crazy at all," she said softly. His low laughter on the other end of the phone made her miss him something awful. "Guess we're officially not a secret anymore huh?"

"Nope. They're way ahead of us. So much for all that talk about being discreet and them adjusting to the idea."

She laughed. "Stop worrying so much. They love you. You know that. How did the Tuesday shuffle go?"

"It went good. We managed," he said, feeling pretty damn proud of himself. "I got this."

"I never doubted for a second. I gotta go, though. Hug them for me, okay? And tell them I'll call tomorrow."

"Yup."

"Hey, I love you."

"Love you too, darlin."

He hung up the phone and glanced in the rearview mirror.

"Oooo, turn it up," Daphne said excitedly as one of their favorite songs came on the radio.

It wasn't anyone Deacon knew, it wasn't even his kind of music, but he obliged and cranked it up anyway.

Pretty soon they were singing out loud, heads bobbing, arms waving, backseat dancing. They were happy. Two beautiful, sweet, girls who had been put through the wringer more than once over the last two years, and still they came out of it singing. They were tough. Just like their mama. He could see so much of her in both of them, their pretty eyes, their lovely smiles.

Funny how you could look in a rearview mirror and see the rest of your life ahead.

He'd have made that drive last forever if Rayna was on the seat next to him.

Deacon turned up the radio another notch and settled for a few extra right turns instead. Just to hear them sing a little longer.

######################

**3 months later…. **

It had been a busy summer. Rayna had only a little time at home, and then two months of finishing up the tour with Maddie and Daphne along for the ride keeping her on her toes, and Deacon meeting up with them whenever he could between his own shows and busy schedule. Crazy busy, but fun. Rayna loved having the girls with her, exploring new places in all the fabulous cities the tour hit. And she definitely felt more on top of her game knowing they were here.

But the girls were spending the month before school started with Teddy now. That was the arrangement she'd gotten him to agree to in exchange for letting them come on the tour. So she had zeroed everything off the calendar for the next 30 days, and told Bucky he better not come looking for her unless someone was dead or kidnapped. Business and press engagements and all that be damned. Tandy could take care of it. Her sister owed her.

Deacon had done the same.

So they were going to the cabin for a month. It was the first time Rayna had been there since Maddie's whole video scandal. It was the first time they'd been there "together" in 16 years. That gave them an awful lot of time to remember how they'd fallen in love with each other in the first place. Writing, playing, loving just being together. She couldn't wait. This beat touring and press engagements any day.

"Ready?" Deacon asked as he threw his duffle bag in the back of the truck next to several grocery bags, an amp and no less than three guitar cases.

"Yup." Rayna said, making sure the front door was locked, and double checking her purse for her keys and phone. "Let's hit the road, Babe."

He looked at the array of suitcases on her front steps. Five suitcases and two smaller carry on bags, to be exact. "You're not really takin' all this, are you?"

"It's a month," Rayna protested. "I might need all this stuff. You're only bringing one bag? For a month?"

In his last few months of spending so much time with the girls and her on tour, he had learned in a hurry there was an awful lot of stuff women "might" need and 90 percent of the time it never came out of the suitcase.

He just shook his head with a smile and sighed, and started loading her stuff into the back of the truck.

"Be careful!" Rayna said. "That one has all my shoes in it."

He knew before they even left the city limits, her high heeled sandals would be on the floor of the truck and her bare feet would be on his dashboard, and she'd hardly put on another pair of shoes for the next month. But he put the bag in anyway.

She was leaning against the truck, sunglasses on, fingers flying over the screen of her phone, as she waited for him.

Amused, he took it out of her hand, and stuck it in her purse.

"We're locking that in the truck for a month, remember? You promised."

He pulled her in by the waist for a kiss.

"Oh I remember," she murmured, smiling against his mouth as her arms went around his neck. "If we start this now, we're never gonna get there. I seemed to remember how good we used to be at turning that hour long drive into a four hour one. All those dead end roads and park n ride lots…you were a terrible influence."

"Oh, we'll get there," he said between kisses. "Eventually. Might have to make a few stops, but we'll get there. I'm not in a hurry. Just glad you're here. With me."

"Me too."

"And you really didn't need all those bags, you know."

Rayna put her hands on her hips. "Oh, and why not? You callin' me a diva?"

"Nope. Cuz we both know you're not gonna spend much time wearing clothes anyway,"

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh really? You think so."

"Yep."

And she kissed _him_ this time, so long and thoroughly that he considered digging through her purse for the keys and unlocking the front door before they gave the neighbors any more of a show.

Abruptly, she backed away from him and opened the door to get into the truck. "Alright, let's go."

"Shame on you," he said. "It's a long drive, and now you got me all bothered."

"You love it," she said with a laugh.

He did, and she knew he did.

###################################

"You know this is where it happened," she said as they sat on the porch later that evening watching the sun set over the lake, him on the top step, her on the second step between his knees. "Maddie, I mean. Here at the cabin. I know it hurts you that you don't remember…."

"I know. I figured it out…later." Deacon wrapped his arms around her from behind and buried his face in the waves of her hair. "Can't dwell on it, though. You happy?"

"Yeah," she said without hesitation. "Happiest I've ever been."

"Me too." He murmured.

She had wanted to ask him something for awhile.

When she'd called the day after that disastrous concert when Maddie's paternity had come out to ask if Megan had seen him, she had no idea they'd broken up. Her only concern was Maddie and the stupid tabloids. _"Did he say anything about going to the cabin?" _

_ "The cabin? What cabin? _

All those months and Megan hadn't even known he _had_ a cabin.

"All those years….all the women you dated…."

Funny how he could always read her thoughts before she even could turn them into words.

"No. I never brought anyone else up here," he said. "Didn't seem right. Nobody else ever belonged here except us."

She nodded at that realization. No wonder he'd gotten so upset when she showed up with Luke.

He'd bought the cabin when she got her first CMA nomination. They'd christened practically every inch of the place before it had one piece of furniture. Except for that Eternity sign. That had been the first thing to go into the cabin. She'd bought it at a yard sale one day on the way up. It was "their" place, supposed to be their dream to fix it up, have a place to escape from the city and the business and the craziness. A place to escape with the family they were gonna have some day.

Only she'd gotten the family, and he'd gotten this cabin with nobody to put in it but himself.

"You know, I only brought Luke with me that day because I was scared. Not of you, but of…if you were okay." She said tentatively.

"I know. It's alright, Ray. I'd like to bring the girls sometime soon though, if you think that would be okay. Could be fun. Fishing and canoeing and stuff. I think they'd like it up here."

"Could be," she said with a teasing smile. "You always seemed to be talking about canoeing and we never get around to it." She stood up and tugged him gently by the hand and they fell onto the porch swing together with her across his lap, mouths finding each other, kisses slow and sweet as honey. There was no need to hurry. They had the rest of their lives.

She had marveled from the very first day they were back together how easy it was to melt back into his arms like she had never left. It felt like coming home.

He smiled against her mouth. "That's cuz you're a distraction."

"Bet I can find other ways to distract you."

"Right out here on this front porch? In front of god and the squirrels?"

"Yep." She laughed breathlessly as she leaned over him and unbuttoned the top three buttons of her sleeveless blouse.

Deacon's hand reached out and caught the chain that was always present hanging from her neck. Two tiny charms were there, one with a D and one with an M. Near her heart always. And now something else was there too that hadn't been before today. His ring.

His fingers traced the silver band that had survived so much.

"I could get you a better one," he said softly. "You know if you wanted something…better."

She shook her head. "I'd rather have a ring that means something any day than some giant diamond weighing down my hand."

The meaning behind that wasn't lost on him. _I'd rather have you. _

He wished he could find the right words to say all the crazy emotions going through his head and his heart at that moment.

But she didn't need words. She knew, just by the look in his eyes. He had always worn his heart in his eyes for her. And she had never been able to hide anything from him either. He knew her better than she knew herself sometimes.

Rayna reached up behind her neck and undid the clasp, and it dropped into his hands.

"I told you I wanted to wait for the right moment," she whispered. "I can't think of a better place than this, can you? This is where our family started."

His eyes burned as he unthreaded it from the chain, found her hand and slid it onto her finger.

"I love you, Ray. More than anything in the whole world," he whispered. "You know that, right? We're gonna get it right this time. You and me and those girls of ours."

"I think we already got it right, Babe," she said with a smile as she laid her head against his chest. "Now we're just getting it perfect."

##################################

**29.5 days later **

Rayna dropped her bag on the floor by the front door and checked her phone for the 15th time since they'd hit the Nashville city limits and Deacon had let her have it back.

"Tandy picked Maddie and Daphne up from Teddy's for me. She say they're on the way," she said, anxious for the girls to get home. "Should be here in a little while."

She couldn't wait to tell them.

"Sounds great. I miss em." Deacon said as he collapsed on her couch with his feet up.

He looked at home. In her home. She loved that.

"Me too. Like crazy. But it was nice, wasn't it?" she said with a smile. "Us getting to spend all that time alone?"

"Sure was. Your nose is sunburned," he said.

Rayna winced. "Yeah, well, that's not the only part of me that's sunburned."

"Well darlin' jumping out of the canoe to go skinny dipping was your idea as I recall, not mine."

"We should probably just get rid of that canoe. It never seems to make it very far."

Laughing, Deacon pulled her down on his lap on the sofa and kissed her like crazy.

Neither one of them heard the front door open.

And then Deacon heard Tandy's voice. "Ahem."

They both looked up to find Tandy standing in the kitchen archway with Maddie and Daphne staring open-mouthed.

Tandy clapped her hands over Daphne's eyes.

"Jeez, you guys," Maddie said with all the disgust of a teenager who never wants to see her parents with their tongues in each other's mouths. Sure she was happy they were together, but it was still….gross.

"Well," Tandy said, unable to hide a laugh. "I think I'll just leave y'all to your family time, and we can talk business tomorrow? Have a great night. All of you." She gave a wave and was out the door.

Daphne didn't even care, she practically flew across the room and crash landed herself on the couch in between them. "I missed you guys so much, I have so many things to tell you-."

Rayna hugged her tightly. "Missed both of you, sweet girl. I want to hear all about your trip to the Bahamas with Daddy. But we have some things to tell you too."

Maddie couldn't resist, and she zeroed in for some hugs of her own from both of her parents, dropping the teenage attitude for once. "The islands were so beautiful. We got to take hula lessons and go to a luau."

Daphne, being the sharp little tack that she was, picked up her mom's hand. "Did you get a new ring? It's pretty."

Deacon met Rayna's eyes over their heads. _ I guess it's now or never. _

"I gave it to her," he said.

Maddie's eyes got huge as she remembered the conversation they'd had a long time ago in her dad's truck. "Are you guys getting married?"

"Yes," Rayna said, unable to keep the smile off of her face. "As long as it's okay with the two of you. What would you think about that?"

"Are you kidding?" Daphne rolled her eyes. "We told Deacon it was okay a long time ago. We've been waiting _forever_!"

She looked over at him in surprise. "You asked them? You never told me that. I just assumed…."

"Course I did," he replied. "You're a package deal, right?"

She reached over and took his hand, and his fingers squeezed hers in return.

"If you guys are going to start making out again, I'm leaving." Maddie announced.

They both laughed.

"You better get used to it," Deacon said to his daughter. "Because that's what people do when they love each other."

Maddie rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help grinning from ear to ear.

And Rayna couldn't get the silly grin off of her face either.

She thought about the way the proposal from Luke had been, so crazy, in front of all those people, no discussing anyone else's reaction first. And Deacon's words in this very kitchen, which came back to her often, and left her with a lingering smile. _You and me, Ray. That's how it's supposed to be. Maddie, and Daphne, and you and me. _Him asking the girls for their approval was just one more confirmation that she'd made the right decision.

Not that there had ever been any doubt.

###############

Maddie was the first one awake the next morning, always an early riser, while her mom and Daphne would stay in bed until someone dragged them out by force if they could. She walked downstairs humming softly to herself, and the first thing she noticed was Deacon's boots and her mom's bare feet hanging off the end of the couch.

She tiptoed around the corner, and found them asleep on the couch together. Her mom's eyes were closed and a blissful smile was on her face, her head on Deacon's shoulder as he slept too. They looked so cute and peaceful like that, all tangled up together. Papers from a night of writing songs were scattered all over, a delivery box with a half eaten pizza was on the coffee table, and Deacon's favorite guitar was leaning nearby.

This was how it should be. All the time. Her dad's words from the night before would stay with her forever. _That's what people do when they love each other._

Maddie snapped a pic with her phone. Just so she could look at it whenever she wanted and remember what real love was supposed to look like. Just in case she ever had a doubt, even though she didn't think she would. And then she went into the kitchen to make her mom and dad some coffee, humming the little tune she'd been working on for a few days now.

_You put the stars back in my eyes…._


	5. Chapter 5

Rayna had hoped that the paparazzi would lay off, that after her disappearing off the grid for a whole month, maybe they'd get bored and go follow someone else around, but no such luck. When she and Deacon got back from their month at the cabin, the tabloid photographers were worse than ever. They followed her to take the girls to school, followed her car as soon as she left the driveway, tailed her to the studio. They even camped out in front of Deacon's house, which obviously wasn't gated, so he'd taken to installing black-out shades on all the windows. It brought a completely new perspective to the meaning of the phrase "man cave". Scarlett stayed there a lot more than he did now, and it was driving her equally crazy.

"This is insane," Rayna said to Bucky on her first Monday back at SoundCheck, as they sat on the leather sofa listening to Juliette's rehearsal. "There's about five cars in the parking lot right now that I know are photographers who followed me. What are they gonna do, sit around and wait for 5 hours?"

"They probably are," Bucky said regretfully. "You know those guys are persistent."

She shook her head in disgust. "I saw a guy hanging out in the tree over my driveway this morning with a camera. I'm considering arming the girls with water balloons."

Deacon had told her that Will and Gunnar suggested potato guns, just to scare them off. As amusing as she found that, she didn't feel the need to get sued by some jerk falling out of a tree and breaking his neck after getting hit with an illegal potato fastball.

Juliette gave her band the signal to take five and walked over by them. "Well you know," she said as she grabbed a bottle of water out of the mini fridge. "I could go out there and I don't know, give em the finger? Flash them? That would give them plenty to talk about," she said humorously. "I already accidentally renounced God, I'm not sure I have much more left on the list."

"No," Glen said from his place on the other sofa, not even looking up from the newspaper he was reading. "Absolutely not. You need to behave yourself."

"Aw Glen, you're no fun at all," she pinched his cheek, took a slug of her water, and sashayed back to her spot on the stage.

Rayna and Bucky smirked at each other. _Same old Juliette_, she thought. She was more content than she'd thought she'd be to get off the tour for awhile and leave Juliette as the sole headliner. It felt good to be home in Nashville, to get her time with the girls and Deacon.

But it would feel a lot better if these damn photographers would leave them alone. Ever since the story had broken that she and Luke had called off their engagement, they had been absolutely relentless. There had to be a reason, and apparently everyone "had" to know what it was, even though it was none of their damn business. Of course there was a reason.

His name was Deacon.

She smiled at even the thought of his name, and looked down at the ring on her hand.

Even with all the scandal over her broken engagement to Luke, she couldn't deny that she was happier than she'd ever been in her life.

"Well you know," Bucky said in that "Bucky-like" way he had, like he wanted to make a point but he didn't want to step on her toes. "I mean, you disappeared for a whole month, Rayna. And Luke has already been seen out and about with the lead singer of that band Daisy Hart. Your fans are wondering what the heck is going on."

Rayna stared at him. "Really? Already? That didn't take long," she muttered. Let Luke go off and be someone else's ball and chain. She was glad he'd moved on so easily but it wasn't helping the scandal buzz one bit. "And I was looking into signing them. Guess that's off the table."

"Well maybe you should…you know…explain some of it," Bucky said carefully. "It definitely was not missed that Deacon disappeared the same time you did. There's all these ridiculous rumors that he went back into rehab, that you two ran off to Mexico and got married."

"Oh good lord," she muttered. "Really?"

"Yes. So maybe, you know…"

Rayna sighed. "I know what you're going to say, Buck. I'm not going and spilling my guts on anymore talk shows."

Bucky pointed to the new accessory on her finger. "When people see that, it's going to get worse before it gets any sort of better."

"What do you want me to do," she said, rolling her eyes. "Write a damn book?"

Bucky got real quiet. "You know…." he said thoughtfully.

"No!" She exclaimed. "I was joking."

"It's not a bad idea, though, Ray," he said cautiously. "It would give you a chance to tell your whole story. From the beginning. Your fans would love it, and it would stop all the speculation."

"No way," she shook her head. "Deacon would hate the idea, and I hate it too. I've always been about keeping my life private, and I want it to stay that way. I don't need the whole world reading my dirty laundry." God forbid there was enough of it. Her marriage to Teddy that had ended in disaster. Her father's scandalous deeds. She could probably write 10 books.

"Well I have phone calls to make. Just think about it," Bucky said as he stood up. "And I'll look into getting some info on a writer."

"I'll think about it," Rayna called to his retreating back. "And the answer will still be no."

She heard him laugh.

No way in hell.

##############################

Deacon noticed Rayna seemed unusually quiet that night as they sat with the girls watching a movie. The two of them were on the sofa, and Maddie and Daphne were on the floor in front of them, sharing a bowl of popcorn. Their chatter made up for her silence as he listened to them talk about everything that had happened that day, their first day back in school.

He waited until girls doled out good night hugs and went up to their rooms, and then he asked her about it.

"Something's eatin' at you. I can tell."

Rayna rolled her eyes. "Oh, I was just thinking about all this stuff with the tabloids and how tired I am of all of it. Bucky showed me some of the magazines today. Ridiculous. And I don't think it's moved my record sales one way or another. I mean don't I already give enough interviews? What the heck do they need pictures of me going out to get the paper in my pajamas for? Or buying groceries?"

"Not gonna lie, I have to agree with you there," Deacon said, noting the curtains drawn on every window in the living room just to be safe. Her entire property was gated, but it wouldn't be the first time a crazy guy with a camera had scaled the brick wall and took pictures through the windows. He knew Rayna wasn't taking any chances, especially with the girls home this week. So far when they'd been with Teddy, the press had left them alone.

He wished he could take her and the girls away from it all. They both knew it came with the territory, with living in the spotlight, but it was still hard.

"Wish we could just go back to the cabin."

"I know," she sighed. "But we've done a pretty good job of keeping that place a secret over all those years, it would kill me for anyone to follow us. And besides, the girls are back in school now and I don't want to mess up their routines. I think we should wait awhile to go back."

"They'll get tired of it," he said. "The press. They always do. Some other scandal will come along, and we'll be old news."

Rayna bit her lip. "But what if it doesn't? How can we ever plan a wedding with all this going on?"

Deacon's eyes crinkled into a smile. "Is that what's bothering you? Wanting to plan a wedding?"

"Partly," she admitted. "Not the actually wedding part, but that I don't want to wait. I realized that, being there at the cabin with you. I don't want to put it off for months or years waiting for idiots with cameras to get bored with us. I want to be your wife, Deacon. We waited long enough."

"Well darlin'," he said. "You know we don't need a thousand people there, or a big fancy ceremony, or any of that. If you want all that stuff, it's fine with me. But all I need is you there. You and Maddie and Daphne and Scarlett, and that's good enough for me. And maybe my sister. If she behaves."

Her face broke into a slow smile. "That's it, huh?"

"Yep. The only ones that matter."

With a contented sigh she laid her head on his shoulder. "You're so cute when you're happy."

"Cute?" he said indignantly. "I am not "cute".

"Yes," she said laughing. "You are."

He rolled his eyes, but couldn't keep the grin off his face. Because he WAS happy. With the girls, with her, with the life they were building. So damn happy it almost hurt sometimes. A good hurt. He was pretty sure he was in a perpetual state of walking around like a grinning fool. He KNEW that, because he'd seen his own face plastered next to Rayna's all over the watercooler section of the local news on tv this morning literally grinning like a damn fool.

"Soon," he promised. "We'll figure something out. Hell, we could do it at the Ryman if you wanted. Nobody's getting in there that we don't let in. Steve will make sure of that."

"Oh, I love that idea," she said with a sweet smile. "It would be perfect. Just us and a few family and friends and all the country ghosts hanging around in the rafters."

"Me too," he smacked a kiss on her lips. "It's settled. You okay, then? Was that the only thing bothering you? You were quiet all night."

"Not exactly," she admitted. "Bucky had this idea…"

"Uh oh, that don't sound very promising. Bucky gets a lot of ideas."

"Well…" Rayna hemmed and hawed around it. "He wants me to…write a book. Well not me but have someone else write it, you know? Like an autobiography."

Deacon didn't look as if he liked that idea one bit. "Why the hell would he want you to do that? That's the damn worst idea ever, the press is nosy enough as it is. He knows how hard you have tried to keep your life private," he protested.

"That's exactly what _I _said," Rayna sighed. "But he seems to think maybe it's a chance to tell my story, _our _story, and once they have it, they'll back off. He also thinks the fans would love it, and he has a point there. You know we both grew up in this industry, and a lot of our fans have grown up with us."

He got real quiet, staring over her head into the fire. "I guess it's up to you, Ray. I can't say I'm crazy about the idea, but if you think it will get them off our backs…. I don't give a damn about myself really, but I hate for you and the girls to have to put up with it. "

"I hate the idea of writing a book," she admitted. "Completely. But this time Bucky might be right. I've been in this business for a long time. 26 years. Maybe it's time to tell it _my_ way."

"Do I get to read it first?"

"Why do you need to read it," she laughed. "You were there for most of it."

"Well I don't want you telling all my secrets!"

She tilted her head backwards to look up at him. "Oh you mean you don't want me to tell the world you eat cold spaghetti out of a can and cry when you watch Old Yeller?"

"Hell no!"

Rayna shook her head and smiled. "I'm gonna think about it for awhile first. And see what the girls think of the idea."

"Whatever you decide, Ray. You know I'll be here," he said, leaning forward to kiss her.

"Thanks babe, that means a lot to me."

"Now about this wedding thing," Deacon said seriously…"There is one thing I won't budge on."

Rayna hid a smile. "What's that?"

"I ain't wearing those shiny shoes that pinch your toes."

She laughed and laughed. "Oh Deacon, I love you."

Best sound he'd ever heard. He wanted to make her laugh forever. He wanted to walk down the street holding her hand, and kiss her in broad daylight. He wanted to marry her. Soon.

Tabloid reporters be damned.

##########################################

Rayna said no. Fifteen times. And Bucky sent a writer to her house anyway a week later. Just for an interview, he promised. Her name was Lucy Hayes, and she was "something else."

Well Rayna didn't know what "something else" meant, and she was quite reluctant to find out.

She opened the door to this blue blur in a jogging suit, who walked right in like she had been there before.

Deacon, standing next to her, was equally speechless.

"Lucy" wasn't what either of them expected at all. She wasn't some fast talking young reporter hounding her for the facts.

She was a grandmother. A no nonsense lady with scuffed sneakers on her feet and a spiral notebook in her hand, about 50 pens clipped to the side of her purse, and one behind her ear, a faded New York Yankees baseball cap over her gray hair.

"You must be Rayna."

"Um…yeah," Rayna said, stunned. "Come on in."

"I think she just did." Deacon murmured.

Rayna shot him a look.

Lucy shook both of their hands. Her hands were small but her handshake was firm. She sized up the inside of the house. "Nice pile of bricks you got here," she said as she wandered around the living room looking at the pictures on the mantle, and then disappeared into the kitchen.

Rayna grabbed her phone out of her back pocket and shot off a quick text to Bucky.

_Is this lady for real? _

Bucky replied back._ Don't be fooled. Her booklist is a mile long. Lucy is her real name, her pen name is Roger Marten._

Deacon read the text over her shoulder. "Has Bucky lost it? Roger Marten wrote the autobiographies for half of Nashville. Ray, this is too crazy."

"I know." Rayna looked at him, confused.

"Yes," Lucy said as she stepped back into the room. "Yes _she_ did."

"You're Roger Marten? The elusive Roger Marten?"

"Yep. I like to hide in plain sight. And don't be fooled by this," she gestured to the spiral notebook in her hands. "I take this job seriously, but I like to do things the old fashioned way. I write it out then I pay someone to read my chicken scratch and type it for me. Usually one of my money-grubbing grandchildren. I got no use for all that computer crap. And don't you dare text me or our working relationship is over. The only reason I got a damn cellphone at all was that my son insisted. Apparently he's afraid I'm gonna fall and break a hip or something."

Deacon laughed. "Well maybe this won't be so bad after all."

Lucy tucked her arm into Rayna's. "Now where is it quiet in this big fancy house? You have this guy of yours bring us some cold iced tea and we'll get started."

"Well," Rayna said, shooting Deacon a glance. "I didn't even agree to write this book yet, so…"

This little old lady just looked up at her in surprised. "Well you opened your front door, didn't you? That's enough of an agreement for me."

"She's got ya there, Ray."

Rayna opened her mouth, and shut it again. She shot Deacon a "save me" look, and he put his hands up in defense and disappeared into the kitchen to get the requested tea.

With a sigh, she opened the door to her office. "This is the quietest room in the house. My girls will be home soon. I don't have much time today."

Lucy seemed unperturbed by that. "You're probably scared to death of me right now. That I'm gonna run off and tell everyone things you don't want them to know."

Rayna raised her eyebrows and looked at her. "Aren't you?"

"I've been around this town a long time," she said simply. "I know you're a private person. I know that people don't know much about you past what they see onstage, and that leaves you a target for gossip. I know Watty. And I knew your mother."

Rayna's heart skipped a beat. "You did?"

"Yes. That's why Bucky thought you and I would be a good match for this project."

It took a minute for her to digest all this information. "I can't promise you anything," she said haltingly. "I'm not good at…well, letting people into my life. Maybe you'll get halfway through writing this and it won't be worth it. I don't want to waste your time."

"Oh, I 'm not worried about that. So," Lucy settled herself onto the sofa and yanked the pen out from behind her ear. "Where do you you want to start, Ray?"

She was surprised to hear Deacon's familiar nickname. "Um…"

"He calls you that," Lucy noticed. "And I bet no one else does, do they?"

"No," she admitted. "No they don't. It's….special."

"Well then, Miss Rayna," Lucy patted her hand. "We'll save that for another day. Why don't you just start at the beginning. Where's the beginning of Rayna James?"

Start at the beginning, she said.

It took Rayna a minute to figure out where to start, to figure out where the "beginning" was in the pages of her mind. Before she was the other half of Deacon and Rayna. Before she was Teddy Conrad's wife. Before she was Mom.

Before all that, she was just Rayna. A little girl who would watch her mother sit at the vanity and put on makeup while John Conley played on the record player nearby. A little girl who was still young enough to see her life through rose-colored glasses.

"Well," Rayna took a deep breath. "For my 11th birthday, I got a present that changed my life. My mother gave me this old guitar. I was awful at playing it but it encouraged me to sing…."

**Well I'm not sure how realistic this is that Rayna would give in to writing a book, but it sure was fun inventing this new character in their lives **


	6. Chapter 6

It had been an artfully arranged deception, trying to plan a wedding the press didn't know about. The guest list was limited to 100 of their closest friends. No celebrities. No reporters, and only pictures by the one photographer they'd hired. Everyone was led in through the back door and required to sign a confidentiality agreement that they wouldn't take any pictures or release information to the press. It seemed ridiculous to have to go to those lengths, but she was damned determine that this was going to be their day and their day only. Today it was about them finally become a family. It was about them celebrating the long road that had brought her and Deacon back to each other. It was about the rest of their lives together waiting. She'd waited long enough for their happy ending. Nothing could get in the way now.

And despite all that, Rayna was still a nervous wreck, stalking back and forth the small length of the dressing room in her white knee-length strapless dress and her white boots.

"Sit down and stop pacing," Tandy said. "Nothing is going to go wrong."

"Maybe I should go make sure he's here. I mean what if he got held up in traffic or something-."

"No!" Every single one of other women, including her two own daughters, yelled at the same time.

"He's here, trust me," Juliette said, rolling her eyes. "I saw him come in with Gunnar. He looked just about as nervous as you are. God, if I ever get married," she said, examining her manicure. "Just remind me to fly off to Greece or something and elope."

Rayna gave her the eye. "Honey, didn't you try that once already?"

Juliette waved her hand. "That was _annulled_. Anyway, you're missing the point. Stop worrying. It'll all be fine."

"It's bad luck to see him before the ceremony, mom," Maddie added. "He can't see you til you walk down the aisle."

Rayna went back to pacing, wrung her hands together. "Well this day has been a hell of a long time coming, and I just want everything to go perfect."

"Well then sit down," Tandy said gently, pressing her back into the chair. "Let them finish your hair, and relax, okay?

"Mom," Daphne said from her spot in the chair next to her mother. Getting her own hair done. She looked so grown up in her pale blue dress. "If you were wearing a garbage bag standing in the middle of Broad Street in the rain, Deacon would still want to marry you."

Rayna couldn't hide a smile. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, sweetheart. " Tandy, Daphne, and Maddie were acting as her bridesmaids. All the other important women in her life were just there for moral support. Which, apparently, she really needed because she was an emotional wreck.

"Here," Maddie pressed her cellphone into her hand. "Text him, Mom. Then you'll feel better."

"Is that allowed?" Rayna said dryly. "I mean, am I breaking some kind of new found social media wedding tradition if I do that?"

"I think the gods of cellphones and twitter would forgive you," Scarlett added with an amused smile.

Rayna looked down at the phone in her hand and punched in two words.

_U here? _

_ Yep just waitn for them to let me out of this room. _

_I'm marrying you today, _she wrote.

_You bet your ass you are, _came the replywith a little smiley after it.

Rayna's eyes blurred with tears_. _"Aw, he made a smiley. The man hates texting more than anything, and he made a smiley."

God, she didn't know when she'd turned into such an emotional mess. She never cried in front of people, ever. Only Deacon had the power to turn her into a giant sap.

"Stop!" Tandy said in horror. "Oh for goodness sakes, do NOT cry. You're about to ruin an hour in that makeup chair."

Sarah, her makeup artist pushed Tandy away like a woman going to war and came at Rayna with a fist full of Kleenexes, blotting and dabbing her back to perfection before the runaway tears spilled over.

Rayna tried to regain her composure and fingered the diamond necklace at her collarbone. Her Something old and borrowed. It had been her mother's, given to her earlier by Tandy as a reminder today of the woman who had given them life. She wished she was here. So many things you wanted to ask a person. So many regrets. She wished Virginia could be here to know her beautiful granddaughters.

"She'd be proud of you," Tandy said softly, noticing her finger the necklace.

"You think so?"

"I know she would."

Her first wedding to Teddy she'd been nervous also. And nauseaus. Literally. She was 4 months pregnant with Maddie and scared to death she was going to throw up in the middle of half of Nashville. It had been an elaborate affair in a huge old downtown ballroom, in front of 1000 people. Lamar had spared no expense on that one.

This was much better. Just the people closest to them would be here to watch them say their vows. Pretty dresses, yes, but not much more glitz and glitter than that. She didn't need any of that. All she needed was Deacon standing at the other end of that aisle waiting for her.

A knock sounded on the door

"I have a delivery for Ms. Jaymes," the courier said, handing a small rectangular box to Tandy.

Rayna took it, mystified. There was no card.

She opened the box.

Her something blue.

God, she couldn't believe he'd kept it all these years.

It was a list. Written on the back of a faded blue t-shirt.

"Seriously," Tandy said with a smile. "We're dying from suspense here. Is that from Deacon?"

"It most certainly is," she said softly.

"Well," Daphne demanded. "Really, Mom? Are you going to tell us what it's about or what?"

Rayna blinked, looked up for a minute, liked she'd almost forgot the rest of them were there.

She swallowed hard. "Well," she said. "One day we were out by the river. I had a really bad show the night before, some guy threw a beer at me, they called me names…I was about ready to give up on this whole damn business," her voice trailed off. "He took me away from the city. And we sat by the river. We started talking about all the things we were going to do when we made it big…We didn't have any paper, so Deacon….was wearing this shirt and he made me write it on his back with a sharpie we found in the truck. "

God, how they had laughed that day. She'd never forget that feeling, how he'd made her forget

everything awful from the night before, and just held her in his arms and made it all go away.

That was the first day he'd said it. Just looked into her eyes, and it came out of nowhere_. I love you, Ray._ She'd never understood before that moment how three words could be so powerful.

The girls were all looking over her shoulder to look at the shirt in the box.

"Go deep see fishing in the Gulf of Mexico."

"Climb Cadillac Mountain and watch the sun rise."

"Buy a cabin on a lake."

"Stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon and yell our names."

There were many more. So many things they had dreamed about. She'd done some of them without him. He'd done some of them without her. It bothered her to think about that. Time wasted. But she knew what the last thing was on the list before she took the shirt out of the box. She unfolded it and spread it out on her lap.

The bottom of the list before the hem said in big letters "Get married. Have a family". It was circled three times, and she'd drawn a heart in the corner.

Well now they were all crying, even Tandy.

With a sigh Sarah opened up her makeup box again, and reached for her cellphone. "Someone better call out front and tell the them there's going to be a delay. This is going to take awhile to clean up."

########################################

Of course she would keep him waiting. She wouldn't be Rayna if she didn't, Deacon thought with amusement. She'd make the sun late coming up in the morning if she was in charge of it.

Deacon kept glancing at his phone to see what time it was.

Bucky came into the room then, with that "Bucky" look on his face. "There was a makeup issue," he said wryly. "They said give em a half hour."

"Aw hell," Deacon said with a shake of his head and a smile. "I don't care what's on her face. And you can tell her I said that."

He wouldn't care if she came out there in barefeet and one of his flannel shirts. None of that mattered to him. What mattered was this day had been a long time coming. All the sins and secrets of the past didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was him and her, Maddie, and Daphne being the family they were supposed to be.

He'd imagined this day for about 20 years now. Never sure exactly how it would go, or what would Rayna would want, god she'd changed her mind a million times in the last 3 months, and almost had him convinced it would be easier just to run off to Vegas.

He'd never come close to imagining how it would feel.

Watching the girls walk down the aisle arm in arm, his heart practically busted with pride. He'd never imagined being a father would be the ride it had taken him on already. Those girls were everything to him. And now he'd get to be there every day to watch them finish growing up.

Maddie left Daphne standing next to Tandy in front, and then went to the side and picked up her guitar.

She sang her mom down the aisle.

They'd debated a long time about what would be the perfect song, and in the end Rayna had chosen "A Life that's Good." She couldn't think of a better song to sum up everything she felt, written by the man she loved, as their beautiful daughter's voice carried her down the aisle.

He watched as everyone got to their feet and Rayna walk down the aisle. Later he'd notice her dress, and her hair, and all that beautiful stuff. Right now all that mattered was the smile on her face and the happiness in her eyes as the rest of his life walked towards him. Everything that happened had all been leading to this moment. He'd never given up on her, and she'd never lost faith in him either. Because they were meant to be. This was the way it was supposed to be. That was what it meant to find your soulmate. You hurt each other, and saved each other, lost each other, loved each other, but no matter what happened, the one thing you never lost was the faith that you'd find your way back. And they had.

"Took you long enough," he teased in a low voice, looking down at her, taking her hands in his, tangling their fingers together.

She laughed softly. "It did, didn't it? I promise I'll never keep you waiting again, babe."

He pressed a kiss to her mouth.

"Ahem," the preacher said, amused ."I believe we skipped a few steps here before the kissing comes in."

A titter of laughter went through the crowd.

They had written their own vows. They'd said they were gonna do that. Deacon had had a hell of a time trying to find the wright words to write down. You'd think being a songwriter and all, it would come easy.

Nope.

Deacon cleared his throat. "I don't think any words or song could ever be exactly right. I loved you when I didn't know I loved you. I watched you grow up from this girl to this beautiful, amazing, woman. I watched you become a singer, and then a mama, and I never loved you less, only more as time went by. You stood by me through the worst parts of my life, and you were IN all the best parts. You never lost faith in me. I don't know if I could ever say just how much I love you, but I intend to spend the rest of my life trying to prove it. For better or for good. Sickness and health and all that. I do." His eyes got that fuzzy look as he slipped the diamond in a silver band onto her finger next to the eternity band that was already there.

Rayna couldn't keep the smile off her face. "Deacon, you waited for me," she said softly. "Much longer that I deserved. I watched you turn your life into something wonderful and amazing, and I am so proud of you every day. You taught me what it really meant to love someone, to stand by them through everything, even when they hurt you. So much of my life has been on a stage," she said. "And you were there next to me. When I tried to hide myself, you were the one who saw me. When we're done here and the lights go off, I want you to be the one next to me. I have loved you since the first night I met you, and you said…."

"Don't look at them," he said now quietly, with a smile in his eyes. "Just look at me."

She nodded. "I love you. For better or for worse. I do." She slipped the silver band onto his finger.

"And now," the preacher said with a satisfied smile. "Now you can kiss the bride. For as long as you wish."

"How about for the rest of our lives?" He said smiling as he did just that and pulled her into his arms.

She laughed softly, winding her hands into his hair as the kiss went on and on even as they were being now surrounded by everyone who wanted to congratulate them. "I love you so much, Babe."

"Love _you,_ Ray." He murmured.

They truly had found a life that was good.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The end.

Oh, we can only hope….. ;)


End file.
